1. The couch growled. "They're still not clearing five feet. Up the voltage."
2. I wonder if these kids' parents are ashamed they're not interested in real sports. (I note from the website where I got this that the match ended in a stunning, exhilirating 0-0 tie.)
3. Outraged at the unfair use of anti-gravity devices, the British soccer fans launched a tactical nuke.
4. "Oh, yeah... right in the jewels!"
5. "Wow, great kick. Too bad the ball is eight frackin' feet away, Captain Depth Perception!"
6. On the one hand, the coach reading the Necronomicon and invoking Satanic prayer before the games did violate church and state separations. On the other hand, levitating over the other team was pretty wicked.
7. "They're all frozen! This Magic stopwatch rocks!" Billy exclaimed. "Next stop: Girls locker room!"
8. "Would you guys quit screwing around and help me find the Green Destiny Sword?"
On a related note: Soccer fans are devious and not to be trusted.