Friday, September 16, 2005

L'Esprit d'Escalier

1. "Damn, that bar must have been darker than I thought."

2. "C'mon baby, let me show you to my swing-pad. Have you ever seen hardcore p0rn on a 42-inch screen? It will blow your mind."

3. "Yup, here I am, young and cute and full of life, and there you are, Grandma. Just running out the clock. One slip-and-fall away from the oblivion of eternal night. Ain't it a bitch?"

4. "Hurry up, Grandma! I wanna show you the video I found of grandpa in black socks and a leather mask wrestling with the UPS man."

5. "Just a few more steps, she'll come up to the trip-wire and, 'Hell-o big fat inheritance.'"

6. "We told Dog the Bounty Hunter to F*ck himself, so you'll probably be safe here for a while, grandma."

7. "Don't be afraid, Grandma, they just sent me to make your journey to the spirit world easier."

8. "The bathroom's right up this way, Grandma. You think you can hold it in this time? We had to pay two hundred bucks to clean the carpets the last time you brought your incontinent ass over to visit."

9. "O.K., explain to me again about the negatives, and how Dick Cheney wants you killed." Whispering, "Call 9-1-1. Call 9-1-1!"

10. Grandma chuckled to herself, "O.K., Billy, I'll come up and see where the 'Pinhead' man showed you the portal to the Hell Realm."

Apologies to: Here

11 comments:

SOTG said...

Pet Sematary ref: "Now I'm gonna play wif YOU..."

SOTG said...

"Mrs. Robinson, are you trying to seduce me?"

SOTG said...

The fart was pungent enough to be almost visible.

Divine Miss M said...

Mom always wondered why Billy went to sleep without a fuss at his grandparents'; what you don't see is Grandpa outside, under the kid's window with a balloon on a string, as Grandma says "If you don't go right to sleep, Grandma will be forced to knock three times and summon the floating red head of death."

AM42 said...

Ahh, I see the divine miss m is a Larson fan : )

SOTG said...

She expected Billy would march upstairs and straight to bed...

What she was NOT expecting was the flying roundhouse kick Billy unleashed to her sternum.

SOTG said...

Ashton Kutcher and Demi Moore decide to "take it upstairs".

SOTG said...

"It's a good thing ya done that, Billy, a REAL good thing!... heh heh... Now wish what used to be the man with the camera into the cornfield..."

SOTG said...

"Well danged if you weren't right, papa Zunigas... There they are right on his ankle. Little Markos, wherever did you get that silly '666' tattoo?"

Van Helsing said...

"That's right, my whole allowance. But remember, you gotta take your dentures out."

Divine Miss M said...

Yup! ;-)