Friday, September 30, 2005

Just When I Needed a Break From the Anti-War Moonbats

Brian Sligowski sends this, and NRO Agrees Neither. And Leather Penguin. And of course, The Jawa Report. Okay, I can take a hint.

1. Robin Williams agreed to throw out the first pitch, but only if he could do it naked while standing next to a cross-dressing Joe Pesci.

2. Madonna eventually ditched Kabbalah to embrace Jedism. Guy Rithchie hated wearing the Chewbacca suit and they eventually divorced.

3. Tragically, Han Solo was not around to warn Leia that Wookies are prone to tearing people's arms off when being told they "throw like a girl."

4. Looks like Fergie isn't the only princess that needs Jenny Craig.

5. Well, what do you expect when the Red Sox play an inter-league game with a team from the planet Tor?

6. The worst part was when John Kerry introduced him as Anakin Ortiz.

7. Possessed by the spirit of Ty Cobb, Chewbacca spent the rest of the night getting drunk, hurling racial epithets, and beating up hookers.

8. Side Effects of Anabolic Steroid Use: 1. Excessive body hair

9. Great moments in baseball, 2005: Chewbacca hits Manny Ramirez right square in the nuts. A drag queen applauds.

10. And John Rocker thought New York had the worst freaks.

11. Wookie pitcher Bock Ellis's no-hitter was struck from the record books when it was discovered he was tripping on melange through the whole game.

12. George Will patiently lined up the target in his sniper rifle and prepared to put an end to this abomination once and for all.

8 comments:

Van Helsing said...

Things always get a little hairy when the Yankees go to their middle relievers.

TC said...

Princess Porky: "Ooh, that carbonite looks tough."

Chewy: "Let's find out...Hey, Solo! Heads Up!"

TC said...

oh, and VH?
I saw that....

Submariner said...

Ya gotta wonder how much his Wookie card will be worth in a few years...


(Oh grow up and quit groaning!)

V the K said...

(Oh grow up and quit groaning!)

Wow, that works for the picture above, too!

Submariner said...

Actually, that phrase would work with close to 25% of all the pictures you use. Sort of like "...in bed." added to the end of a Chinese fortune cookie fortune.

bubbalove said...

Provided a golden opportunity, Princess Leia uses the Force to ensure a good hit as Chewie lobs a thermal detonator at George Lucas for his crimes against humanity called Episodes I, II and III.

SOTG said...

Well, there goes my Princess Leia fantasy...