1. "Cindy Sheehan announced the hiring of a new media representative this week..."
2. How nature says, "Do not touch."
3. After cruising Match-dot-com for weeks, Cindy Sheehan finally found a personal ad that made her absolutely wet.
4. Obscure Reference Alert: "The Little Bushman did not know what to make of the satellite dish..."
5. "Woo-Hoo! I got tenure at Berkeley! I got tenure at Berkeley!"
6. "Now white man throw magic picture box in river. Then, my people release the one you call 'Hillary.'"
7. This guy went to the Air America Bake Sale and bought, like, four dozen brownies.
8. "The satellite dish broadcasts my thoughts to the saucer people, while the aluminum foil beanie protects my thoughts from the Mind Control Satellites. I got the idea from Dennis Kucinich."
9. "All right, somebody get Tom Cruise off the roof, cleaned up and dressed for his People Magazine photo spread... and thaw the kids of out of cryo-storage."
10. The Case Against Intelligent Design Presents: Exhibit A.
I don't even remember where I found this.