1. "One Order General Tso chicken coming up!"
2. Nutria... the other other other other other white meat.
3. "Yeah, well, despite all your rage, I'm still gonna smash your brains out with this mallet."
4. "Make fun all you want, Caption Boy. The NEA just gave me a $40,000 grant to do this."
5. "What? Can't a Chinese lady and her pet rat act out the Croquet scene from Heathers without PETA getting their bloomers in a wad?"
6. What Gwen Stefani's job would be in a fair and just universe.
7. "Don't worry, Mr. Gere, this will just leave him lightly stunned so we can shave and grease him."
8. Among the long term impacts of hurricane Katrina were mutagenic effects on wildlife from the release of chemicals into the water system. On the other hand, they make a very piquant gumbo.
9. "Bummer that your horse spontaneously combusted in fourth race, but you're into Big Tony for 20 large, and I gotta break your skull."
10. "One 'beef' Chalupa coming up!"
Hat Tip: Frank IBC