Thursday, August 25, 2005

... y Ahora en Telemundo, "Pasiones de los Tyrants en amor"

"Dear Hugo, last night with you was bliss. I fear my.. orgasm has left me a cripple. I don't how how I shall ever get back to work. I love you madly, Fidel.

1. "Does it feel good when I touch you there? It does, doesn't it?"

2. "Don't worry, cara mia. Fidel will protect you from Pat Robertson."

3. "Spank me, comrade! Spank me like a four-year-old at Kmart!"

4. "Let's call Jimmy Carter and see if he's up for a three way?"

5. "Aw, Hugo, you arranged to have a dissident tortured just for me?"

6. "Cindy Sheehan... or Jane Fonda." "Jeez, Comrade, if those were my choices, I'd just saw it off."

7. Singing "... Oh Fidel / How I'd love to lay you down / And lick every inch of your body with my tongue. / Fidel, you're my sexual fantasy. / How 'bout you and me get it together and make sweet love?..."

8. "Why don't I slip into a wrestling singlet and just let you... um, just feel around for a while?"

9. They say the only different between a straight brutal tyrant and a gay brutal tyrant is a six-pack.

10. "Come on, what was in my mojito ecstasy or roophies? It was ecstasy wasn't it? Wasn't it? Because I feel tingly and there's a warm glow emanating from your crotch..."

Blatantly Stolen from Moonbattery, but also suggested by Bubba Love


Kevin Walker said...

"Isn't that one of your relatives, Castro? To the left of RPG Man?"

"Yeah. Ever since 'visiting' GITMO a few weeks back, he turned Islamic and fell in love with my neigbor's goat."

carl said...

"Later after dinner, we'll swap spit and clothes with each other."

"You promised to show me the back seat of that classic '53 Chevy of yours."

Castro whispered, "Hold on, its been years since I felt material that soft."

"A few more seconds Amigo," Castro cried,"and my stiffy will be gone!"

"Hugging! Hell no! I'm old Amigos. Someone has to hold this old fart up for the camera."

lawhawk said...

Captions that you might have missed:

... and yet Castro doesn't even have the goddamned common courtesy for a reach around.

... Hugo was silently hoping that Arafat was around for a menage a trois.

... Chavez always wanted to say "say hello to my little friend..." but was shocked when Castro said it first - and meant it.

Rodney Dill said...

Pat Robertson: "Holy Crap! It's twofer night."

Rodney Dill said...

"Just what do you think you're going to do with that cigar Fidel? and stop calling me Monica."

Mark Darien said...

"No, Chavez, baby, I ain't kissin' ya 'til you get that fly off your tooth."

Van Helsing said...

"Hugo, pull your hand out for a moment. I have to fart."

Patrick Joubert Conlon said...

I've been tagged by BethI don't really know what it means but I'm game to play. Are you? Now you've been tagged. Beth wrote:

Question: In your opinion, who are the top 5 best and the top 5 worst U.S. Presidents of all time? You may provide explanations, if you wish to do so. Post your answer in your Blog. Once you've answered, tag at least 3 people.

My Top 5 Best:

5. Abraham Lincoln
4. Franklin D. Roosevelt
(yes, even though he was a lib)
3. Harry S. Truman
2. George Washington
1. Ronald W. Reagan

Honorable mentions to Theodore Roosevelt and Dwight D. Eisenhower.

My Top 5 Worst:

5. Warren G. Harding
4. Franklin Pierce
3. Andrew Johnson
2. William J. Clinton
1. James Buchanan

Dishonorable mentions to Richard M. Nixon and James E. Carter.

I've tagged Eddie, Patrick, and Caroline.

Okay here goes:

My Top 5 Best:

1. John Hanson (the First President)

2. George Washington

3. Thomas Jefferson

4. John Adams

5. James Madison

(I would like to give Ronald Reagan a place if Hanson weren't up there first.)

My Top 5 Worst:

1. Franklin Delano Roosevelt (introduced European socialism)

2. John F. Kennedy - over-rated phony and immoral libertine

3. Lyndon Johnson - another phony and "Great Society" socialist

4. Jimmy Carter - an all round idiot and phony

5. Bill Clinton - the biggest phony, liar, libertine.....okay don't get me started.

I'm going to tag V the K,
North Dallas Thirty and
That Gay Conservative

bubbalove said...

'Dad!' 'Son!' The two exclaimed after their conversations revealed Castro's night of western-inluenced wild, decadent banana love with a certain Venezuelan hooker back in the '50s.

Jonathan said...

"Is that a dissident's finger in your pocket, or are you just glad to see me?"

"'s a dissident's finger in my pocket."

Anonymous said...

Gitmo? I thought you said Citgo!