Wednesday, August 10, 2005

The Usual Gang of Idiots

1. Give it up, Scheherazade. They're obviously fags.

2. "Guys, she's been standing there like that for the last twenty minutes, not moving! Did you, like, check her dosage?"

3. "Dudes, maybe it's just the pot talking, but I am absolutely convinced that the belly-dancing chick is actually Karl Rove."

4. "The way she's flaunting that Nordstrom scarf around, I strongly doubt Winona Ryder has learned her lesson."

5. Stevie Nicks desperately twirled on, but John, Mick, and Lindsey had gotten distracted and started playing with a kitten that had wandered on-stage. Concert-goers could be forgiven for concluding that Fleetwood Mac just didn't care.

6. "Guys! Your farting contest is distracting them from my Interpretive Peace Dance!"

7. Girls. With. Armpit. Hair. Should. Not. Sing. "I Touch Myself." In. Public.

8. "Oh, crap, Brigitte Neilson is running up to grab my boobs. Better cover 'em up!"

9. Gliding through space-time on a magnificent cocktail of Paxil, Zyprexa, and Windex, Lila refused to let anyone take the stage until she had captured all the mosquitoes faeries in her magic gossamer veil.

10. "Guys. You're supposed to be doing my sound-check. Stop chasing the toad. It's not the kind you get high from licking! F-ing Stoners!"

Hat Tip: Right Equals Might


bubbalove said...

Let's see...
Pepper spray - check,
Stun gun - check,
Staightjacket - check.
Now let's go get Princess Gaia over there before she sexually assaults a tree or something!

Van Helsing said...

Moonbeam's magic shawl made her invisible to the prying eyes of Karl Rove's satellites.

Van Helsing

kmg said...

V the K:

Awesome captions! I should have thought of that!

Thanks for the hat tip!

Kurt G.

Right Equals Might

Marcus Tank said...

"Through dance and movement. Mayana Vikisto describes the vast space that exists inside the competely empty water bottle in front of her."

P.S. Thanks for that comment on The Bloggernacle Times. How'd you ever find that? Email me.b

SOTG said...

The peaceniks were dismayed when the museum would not host their entry: "Mannish-belly-dancer-mic-stand-for-peace"