Monday, August 15, 2005

That's One Ugly Frackin' Dog



1. "He's hideous, he drinks from the toilet, he pees on the sofa, and he whines all the time. But enough about Michael Moore, what do you think of my ugly-ass dog?"

2. "If his condition is natural, why is he so terrified of the deep fryer?"

3. "He was a lot prettier before the kids put him in that Indian burial ground."

4. "We did shave its butt and teach it to walk backwards, but it didn't help."

5. This year's hottest new pet: Chenobyl Puppies!!

6. "Hey, kids, look what we brought you back from the gates of Hell!"

7. This abomination unto the Lord resulted from mating a purebred lhasa apso with Helen Thomas.

8. Ted Kennedy has a dog named 'Splash.' In a similarly ironic twist, Cher has a dog named 'Horrible Plastic Surgery Disaster.'

9. "Oh, stop your whining. I'll Heimlich him, and when he barfs up your ear, we'll take it to the hospital and get it sewn back on."

10. "Plus which, I've managed to drive all the Hispanics out of the neighborhood by convincing them that he's a chupacabra."

Real Caption

9 comments:

AM42 said...

Damn, V the K... you already have a chupacabra reference.

Now I've got nothing...

Divine Miss M said...

If Joey Ramone were alive, he'd be singing "I don't want to be buried...in a Pet...Cematary...I don't want to live my life again..." at a benefit for this critter.

Jonathan said...

Damn, Divine...you beat me to the Pet Sematary reference!

Chip said...

I WAS glad my computer - in its capricious wisdom - decided to let me view pictures again.

SOTG said...

The "no-make-up" look has NOT been kind to Susan Estrich.

Tess Turbo said...

It was a well-kept Hollywood secret: Benji's stylists had their work cut out for them every morning.

Bubbalove said...

As the midwife for the coven held up the baby, Cindy Sheehan realized the true cost of her deal with the Devil...

Van Helsing said...

Just when it looked like Stephen King was hopelessly out of material, Cujo had puppies.

Merovign said...

What a rube I am, I thought the zombie dogs in Resident Evil 2 were CGI!