Sunday, August 28, 2005

Take Me Out to the Ball Park

1. "Ever see a grown man naked?"

2. "Don't worry, son. Umps wear protective cups for that reason. I'm sure he won't file charges..."

3. "You looked like a monkey f**king a football out there. What the hell were you thinking?"

4. "Here's twenty. Keep the spread inside two runs. You got it?"

5. "I can't believe you guys lost by that much! What a bunch of sissies!"

6. "Unelected U.S. President George W. Bushitler attempts to recuit young boys to die in his illegal oil war for the benefit of his oil buddies and the Zionist neo-con cabal." -- Gee, Reuters tell us how you really feel.

7. "The best part is, it really doesn't matter if you win or lose. You can still sell your cups to perverts on eBay and make a fortune!"

8. "Are you wearing a cup, Mr. President?"

9. "Sorry that foul ball you hit killed your mom, but look on the bright side, no more 'clean your room,' 'do your homework,' blah blah blah..."

10. "And Laura wants to pass on that even though you lost, your pitcher had by far the perkiest buttocks she's ever seen on a 12-year-old."


Submariner said...

"y'know, Timmie, if you can get 3 out of 4 over the plate I can still swing a try-out with the Rangers..."

Jonathan said...

W: "Son, it's a baseball game! Why'd you have to wear some stupid pro-union shirt here?"

Kid: "Uh, sir, Pickett's my last name. It's not a union thing...sir."

Kevin Walker said...

"You see that fatass over there? I'll give you ten bucks to bean him in the head. Another ten if you can knock the liquor out of Kennedy's hand."

"Come on, Pickett. We'll get the tango down soon enough."

Van Helsing said...

"So when you're playing for the majors, if you see some slippery politician sitting in the front row, waiting for a chance to turn you into a prop for his photo op like Kerry did to Kevin Millar last year, first you'll want to let the tobacco juice build up for awhile and then..."

SOTG said...

Son, if you Pickett it will never heal.