Thursday, August 18, 2005

Papal Fashion Faux Pas: Red Pumps Before Labor Day

The bride wore a fabulous white Vera Wang gown with slightly mischievous red leather pumps.

1. "Ben, people are starting to whisper about your Judy Garland fixation."

2. Die-Hard Conservatives can now order wedding cakes with wax figurines of Newt Gingrich and Roy Cohn on top.

3. "Excuse me, I have to go into the woods and pinch off a few."

4. "Aside from almost fanatical devotion to me, what are your guys' chief weapons again?"

5. "Message from Robert Byrd. He likes your outfit, but he can't shake the feeling that there's something missing."

6. "Well, I'm the Pope, and if I want to 'go commando,' then I'll 'go commando.' What do you think I am, a Mormon?"

7. "Very funny, Senator Schumer. 'INRI stands for 'I'm nailed right in.'' You're a real funny guy." And that's why the pope excommunicated Long Island.

8. "The DNC called. They say they need an old priest and a young priest for Howard Dean's Exorcism."

9. "What do you mean I can't accessorize? I'm infallible, you nitwit."

10. Threatened with eternal damnation, the honor guard had no choice but to obey His Holiness's command to "Salute my butt."

Hat tip: Frank IBC


lawhawk said...

Re: #7 "7. "Very funny, Senator Schumer, telling the ACLU that INRI stands for 'I'm nailed right in.' Let's see who laughs when I excommunicate New Jersey.""

Sen. Schumer is Senator for NY. The NJ senators are Corzine and Lautenberg. Though there are plenty of reasons to excommunicate NJ (namely said senators Corzine and Lautenberg).

V the K said...


Maybe the Pope doesn't know that.

V the K said...

OK, I fixed it, but New Jersey was funnier.

Van Helsing said...

If they hadn't taken the hem up to keep him from tripping over it, the world would never have known about Pope Benedict's obsession with Red Shoe Diaries.

Chevy Rose said...

v the k, I'm as happy as a bride married to Superman for finding your site. I've added you to my list of daily visits.

Love, Mrs. Clark Kent

Frank IBC said...

I can't take credit for this one - it's from Proceed At Your Own Risk. Definitely has a leftward slant but the eye candy more than makes up for it.

Lawhawk - LMAO!!

I'm never going to be able to look at a crucifix the same way again.

That one ranks right up there with "what a hell of a way to spend Easter vacation".

V the K said...

Thanks, Chevy... a couple hundred more unique views and inbound links and I will own Wil Wheaton's sorry ass!

Occasional Reader said...

"(and one, and two, and...) ONNNE! Thingular thenthation!..."