The bride wore a fabulous white Vera Wang gown with slightly mischievous red leather pumps.
1. "Ben, people are starting to whisper about your Judy Garland fixation."
2. Die-Hard Conservatives can now order wedding cakes with wax figurines of Newt Gingrich and Roy Cohn on top.
3. "Excuse me, I have to go into the woods and pinch off a few."
4. "Aside from almost fanatical devotion to me, what are your guys' chief weapons again?"
5. "Message from Robert Byrd. He likes your outfit, but he can't shake the feeling that there's something missing."
6. "Well, I'm the Pope, and if I want to 'go commando,' then I'll 'go commando.' What do you think I am, a Mormon?"
7. "Very funny, Senator Schumer. 'INRI stands for 'I'm nailed right in.'' You're a real funny guy." And that's why the pope excommunicated Long Island.
8. "The DNC called. They say they need an old priest and a young priest for Howard Dean's Exorcism."
9. "What do you mean I can't accessorize? I'm infallible, you nitwit."
10. Threatened with eternal damnation, the honor guard had no choice but to obey His Holiness's command to "Salute my butt."
Hat tip: Frank IBC