Thursday, August 25, 2005

Ooh! Ooh! Ooh!

1. "Put your hand down and wipe that grin off your face, Rahim, I said I needed volunteers for 'Saddam,' not 'Sodomy.'

2. "You mean, all of you have had carnal relations with my goat. I'll kill that unfaithful little tramp!"

3. "Ricky Martin wants a foot massage, a spong bath, and a 'hot lunch.' Any volunteers?"

4. "Jane Fonda wants some insurgents to pose with her next to a road-side bomb. Any volunteers?"

5. "I know you guys are new to deer hunting, so let's review a few basics. Number 1, deer don't fly."

6. "Allah, be praised! 'Chess King' is having a clearance sale, so now we can buy fresh 'uniforms' for our insurgent group."

7. "All right... let me repeat this slowly... you... can't... make... it... rain... by... shooting... at ... clouds."

8. "All right freedom fighters! Let's go out there and kill some infidels for Mother Sheehan!"

9. "Okay, that's done. Who wants to keep the head?"

10. "With the new Constitution in place, our band of ruthless, savage idiots will have to disband. On the plus side, we've all been offered jobs with Microsoft Tech Support."

11. "Now, pay attention," said the suicide bomb instructor, "Because I'm only going to show you guys how to do this once."

Real Caption


Van Helsing said...

Let's hope these guys can't shoot straight, so that the bullets don't come down on top of their heads.

bubbalove said...

Ok, who wants to volunteer to attack the American base? one? How about the girls school down the street? Everyone?! ALLAHU AKBARRRR!!

carl said...

"Okay fellas, first 25 with this arm...remember to keep your arm bent slightly."

"Intel says that there's a woman with a huge bome rack on abase near by. Who wants to go?"

"Does any one recall what R. Lee Ermy said about assault rifles on 'Mail Call?'"

As classes began Amed had the students raise their hands to see who had previous experience with explosives. The guy right in front became an obvious candidate for the next suicide mission.

Amed said, "Look guys 'Blackhawk Down' was great for that African dude whats-his-name. We need some PR like that. What do you say?" Immediatly hands went up.

Jonathan said...

"Damn! Donner and Blitzen got away!"

V the K said...

"Does any one recall what R. Lee Ermy said about assault rifles on 'Mail Call?'"


Kevin Walker said...

We can dance, we can dance, everybody look at your hands!

Divine Miss M said...

"You put your AK-47 in, you take your AK-47 out, you do the hokey pokey and you turn yourself around, that's what it's all about!"

lawhawk said...

Instructor: What does Marcellus Wallace look like? Does he look like a bitch.

Why do you all raise your hands like that? It's a rhetorical question. Oh, you mean you all want him to be your bitch? Never mind.