Wednesday, August 10, 2005
Look Before You Leap and All That
1. "Do they always commit suicide when they wake up married to Billy Bob Thornton?"
2. Some Wings fans take the news of Derian Hatcher going to the Flyers worse than others.
3. "Stupid transporter malfunctions!"
4. Martin was convinced that Greg Louganis was the thirty-fifth incarnation of the Buddha, but the Department of Public Works still frowned on his unique mandala.
5. In addition to the crater, other effects of Rosie O'Donnell's suicide included earthquakes and tsunamis.
6. "It's got gigantic thighs, it's coated in dirt, and its head is buried where the sun don't shine. I call it, 'Hillary.'"
7. Lot's wife was a champion high-diver, but naturally the Patriarcy took that out of the Bible.
8. "God's given me a gift. I shovel well. I shovel very well."