1. "So, how many of you have actually had your finger pulled by a Category 2 Killstorm?"
2. "We believe this area of intense low pressure over Crawford is being caused by atmosphere being drawn out of the atmosphere and into thousands of hippie craniums."
4. "They're here."
5. Then, he accidentally touched the mouse, his Hurricane Screensaver disappeared, and everyone saw the 'Barely Legal Teens and Farm Animals' website he had been surfing.
6. "A Doppler radar picture is as good as a lava lamp after a couple of hits of windowpane."
7. "We tend to name hurricanes after girls we couldn't get dates with in high school, so people will make jokes about them 'blowing down half of South Florida.' It's a meteorologist revenge thing."
8. The 'Amorphous Green Blob Channel' was beaten in the ratings by every other cable channel except the Oxygen network.
9. "And I said, I don't care if they lay me off either, because I told, I told Bill that if they move my desk one more time, then, then I'm, I'm quitting, I'm going to quit. And, and I told Don too, because they've moved my desk four times already this year, and I used to be over by the window, and I could see the squirrels, and they were merry, but then, they switched from the Swingline to the Boston stapler, but I kept my Swingline stapler because it didn't bind up as much, and I kept the staples for the Swingline stapler and it's not okay because if they take my stapler then I'll set the building on fire... but anyway, about the hurricane..."
10. "Hey, who taped the weather channel over my copy of 'Hot Firemen in Heat."