Friday, August 26, 2005

Katrina and the Waves

1. "So, how many of you have actually had your finger pulled by a Category 2 Killstorm?"

2. "We believe this area of intense low pressure over Crawford is being caused by atmosphere being drawn out of the atmosphere and into thousands of hippie craniums."

3. "Gesundheit."

4. "They're here."

5. Then, he accidentally touched the mouse, his Hurricane Screensaver disappeared, and everyone saw the 'Barely Legal Teens and Farm Animals' website he had been surfing.

6. "A Doppler radar picture is as good as a lava lamp after a couple of hits of windowpane."

7. "We tend to name hurricanes after girls we couldn't get dates with in high school, so people will make jokes about them 'blowing down half of South Florida.' It's a meteorologist revenge thing."

8. The 'Amorphous Green Blob Channel' was beaten in the ratings by every other cable channel except the Oxygen network.

9. "And I said, I don't care if they lay me off either, because I told, I told Bill that if they move my desk one more time, then, then I'm, I'm quitting, I'm going to quit. And, and I told Don too, because they've moved my desk four times already this year, and I used to be over by the window, and I could see the squirrels, and they were merry, but then, they switched from the Swingline to the Boston stapler, but I kept my Swingline stapler because it didn't bind up as much, and I kept the staples for the Swingline stapler and it's not okay because if they take my stapler then I'll set the building on fire... but anyway, about the hurricane..."

10. "Hey, who taped the weather channel over my copy of 'Hot Firemen in Heat."

Original Caption


Jonathan said...

LMAO VK, out-freakin-standing Office Space reference in #9!

I think #8 is right, but I'd be willing to bet that MSNBC also ranks behind the 'Amorphous Green Blob Channel', too.

Van Helsing said...

"Look what happens when I touch the TV. I've been able to do this ever since I stuck my slide rule in a light socket."

Submariner said...

Chuckling malevolently, Dick Cheney mutters "See if your tin foil hats can protect you from this..." and points to the section of the Miami area that Karl Rove attacked with his psyonic mind blast in retribution for their voting record.

Rodney Dill said...

"I will squish you like a bug, Jeb Bush."

Rodney Dill said...

"... And Cheney's undisclosed location is right about here, say I wasn't s'posed ta say that was I?"

carl said...

"This IS Katrina's 'G' Spot"

"You are feeling very sleepy...very sleepy..."

And when his wife turned her back, Henry insisted on touching the screen again.

"The Wicked Witch of the West is reportedly flying around in this area."

"Actually the doppler is broken, so I added some green dye to the toilet water before flushing it."

FreeThinker said...

"And The Lord God wields such awesome power, something like what I'm doing now ..."