1. "Nothing like toking up after a round of rough sex with a rock hard stud."
2. "I don't think I'm stoned yet. I still don't believe Bush is Hitler."
3. "You were expecting a hot 22 year old with luscious joybags straddling a 2,000 lb bomb? You must be new to the world of on-line personal ads."
4. "Aw, damn, dropped my colostomy bag."
5. "Ah, this takes me back to the wrap party for Reefer Madness, back at Allen Ginsburg's place, with Jack Kerouac and Bob Dole doing me Eiffel Tower style."
6. Dude in background: "Shit, dawg, look at the cape. Granny must got some primo chronic. Let's take her to the space needle and convince her she's Superman."
7. "The dude in the dress? Says his name's Barney Frank. Claims to be a Senator or something. Keeps trying to get me to go back to his playroom."
8. "Dude, am I hallucinating, or is there a really old chick standing there with no pants?"
9. Estelle Getty wasn't the only Golden Girl to turn to drug abuse in order to put up with Bea Arthur. Rue McLanahan became hopelessly addicted to oxycontin while Betty White simply shot heroin.
10. "OK, I must be stoned now, I think communism would work."