Wednesday, August 10, 2005
Hot Town, Summer in the City
1. Elijah Washington samples the World's Most Powerful Bidet.
2. Unfortunately, since Elijah had just finished a Giant Big Gulp 20 minutes earlier, no one else would get to use the splash pool for the next three days.
3. "Damn you, Roshonda! Damn you and your water elemental powers all to hell!"
4. After seeing the picture of Al Franken humping a big black rubber ball, Elijah feared he would never be clean again.
5. "Continuing his efforts to reach out to the African American community, Senator Robert Byrd personally handled the firehose. 'This takes me back,' quipped the Senate's senior Democrat."
6. "Shouldn't we tell the kids they're frolicking in the runoff from a pork-rendering plant?" "Nah, it's not like they're Muslim or anything."
7. As the water gushed all over him in a seemingly endless stream, Elijah had a sudden flashback to his days as an altar boy.
8. "All right! Cooling off and disposing of forensic evidence. A two-fer!"
9. "Extreme urination! SURGE!"
10. As the diuretic treatments ultimately revealed, Fat Albert really was just retaining water.