Man who identifies himself as “Mr. Foot Massager.” A valuable member of the Sheehan Brigades Hierarchy.
1. "Thanks for indulging my foot fetish. You wouldn't mind stomping on some mice while I watched, would you?"
2. "Is that expression because of the foot massage, or my uncontrollable flatulence?"
3. "Yes, I had to invite the camera crew to join our foreplay. Don't you understand the concept of "Media whore," you imbecile?
4. "This little piggy went to market, this little piggy stayed home, and this little piggy was murdered by Bushitler's evil Zionist oil cabal!"
5. "You know what's good for getting over the death of a child? Anal intercourse with a balding, middle-aged, foot fetishist."
6. "No, if you want to imitate the mainsteam media properly, you have to lick between my toes and clean the filth off the bottom with your tongue."
7. "By the way, I stepped in cowpie."
8. "Degenerate Worm! Mistress Sheehan commands you to suckle at my pinky toe. Did you just flinch? Oh, that is going to cost you, worm!"
9. "You know, maybe it's the half-bottle of Peppermint Schnapps, lid of fine chronic, four hits of ecstasy, the two hits of acid, and the overhwelming reak of patchouli oil stinging my eyes, and maybe it's the fact that I'm legally blind, tone deaf, and haven't gotten any since 1968... but you are incredibly hot, Mother Sheehan. What do you say after the massage, I put on the nipple clamps and you spank me?""
10. "Yeah, that's definitely a Deer Tick."
Hat Tip: Tony Snow dot com