Tuesday, August 16, 2005

Greetings from Mother Moonbat

Man who identifies himself as “Mr. Foot Massager.” A valuable member of the Sheehan Brigades Hierarchy.

1. "Thanks for indulging my foot fetish. You wouldn't mind stomping on some mice while I watched, would you?"

2. "Is that expression because of the foot massage, or my uncontrollable flatulence?"

3. "Yes, I had to invite the camera crew to join our foreplay. Don't you understand the concept of "Media whore," you imbecile?

4. "This little piggy went to market, this little piggy stayed home, and this little piggy was murdered by Bushitler's evil Zionist oil cabal!"

5. "You know what's good for getting over the death of a child? Anal intercourse with a balding, middle-aged, foot fetishist."

6. "No, if you want to imitate the mainsteam media properly, you have to lick between my toes and clean the filth off the bottom with your tongue."

7. "By the way, I stepped in cowpie."

8. "Degenerate Worm! Mistress Sheehan commands you to suckle at my pinky toe. Did you just flinch? Oh, that is going to cost you, worm!"

9. "You know, maybe it's the half-bottle of Peppermint Schnapps, lid of fine chronic, four hits of ecstasy, the two hits of acid, and the overhwelming reak of patchouli oil stinging my eyes, and maybe it's the fact that I'm legally blind, tone deaf, and haven't gotten any since 1968... but you are incredibly hot, Mother Sheehan. What do you say after the massage, I put on the nipple clamps and you spank me?""

10. "Yeah, that's definitely a Deer Tick."

Hat Tip: Tony Snow dot com


Submariner said...

An aged, retired, more humane Mr. Spock finds a new calling, yet continues to go where no one has gone before. Here he demonstrates his newly modified "moonbat death pinch" to rid the Federation of yet one more parasitic lifeform.

Anonymous said...

Now young ladypress your right hand in hard and move it in small circles. That's it! That's it! Harder! Harder! There you go!

bubbalove said...

Frozen due to liberal tripe overload, the Cindybot lies motionless while the MoveOn.Org technician frantically searches for the reset button.

Jonathan said...

Ted Turner, feeling the need to continue his network's reporting of the anti-Bush circus in Crawford, personally administered the massage.

Submariner said...

"Cough! dammit: cough!" pleads Paul Stuckey, desperately trying to remember the Heimlich Manuver discussed during a drug hazed class in the 60's as Mother Moonbat chokes on yet another Mike al'Moore inspired LLL diatribe...

Van Helsing said...

Maybe she'd better douse that foot in patchouli oil. It can't smell pretty, judging by how they're both turning their faces away from it.

SOTG said...

"I see what the problem is... There's an ass growing out of the top end of this foot!"

SOTG said...

...Nah, I like Submariner's "moonbat death pinch"... That's a keeper!