Thursday, August 18, 2005
Give These People a State, Part II
1. "Lighter fluids for pussies, you said. Real men use gasoline to light their charcoal, you said."
2. The Palestinians try to recreate the famous "Fire Island" they had heard so much about.
3. "All right, now, let's form a drumming circle and discuss our feelings about our fathers."
4. "Whoa! Who knew 'flammable' and inflammable meant the same thing? Not me, that's for sure."
5. "Abu, you idiot! You were supposed to buy the insurance policy before you set your house on fire."
6. "And on that one special night, all the Palestinians stay up late, and curl up by the fire, because Kristallnacht comes but once a year."
7. For most viewers, the highlight of Jihad on Ice! is the beheading of Tonya Harding.
8. "Fabulous choreography girls! This is going to be the best production of The Music Man ever."
9. "Where can you be a martyr/Be blown into steak tartar/Rid the world of infidels?... Intifadah! Yes, you can blow up lots of Jews / Intifadah! Yes, you can hump some camels, too/ Intifadah! Intifadah!"
10. "Oh, can't we just once get a nice family portrait without a bright light in the background or everybody trying to martyr the photographer?"
11. "Notice how our camouflage uniforms make us practically invisible against the expanse of barren concrete."
Hat Tip: LFG