Thursday, August 18, 2005

Give These People a State, Part II

1. "Lighter fluids for pussies, you said. Real men use gasoline to light their charcoal, you said."

2. The Palestinians try to recreate the famous "Fire Island" they had heard so much about.

3. "All right, now, let's form a drumming circle and discuss our feelings about our fathers."

4. "Whoa! Who knew 'flammable' and inflammable meant the same thing? Not me, that's for sure."

5. "Abu, you idiot! You were supposed to buy the insurance policy before you set your house on fire."

6. "And on that one special night, all the Palestinians stay up late, and curl up by the fire, because Kristallnacht comes but once a year."

7. For most viewers, the highlight of Jihad on Ice! is the beheading of Tonya Harding.

8. "Fabulous choreography girls! This is going to be the best production of The Music Man ever."

9. "Where can you be a martyr/Be blown into steak tartar/Rid the world of infidels?... Intifadah! Yes, you can blow up lots of Jews / Intifadah! Yes, you can hump some camels, too/ Intifadah! Intifadah!"

10. "Oh, can't we just once get a nice family portrait without a bright light in the background or everybody trying to martyr the photographer?"

11. "Notice how our camouflage uniforms make us practically invisible against the expanse of barren concrete."

Hat Tip: LFG


Jonathan said...

"Fire! Fire! Fire! Yeah-yeah!"
"Settle down, Beavis!"

"OK, on the count of three, everyone smile and say 'Yassar!'"

Submariner said...


"The roof! The roof! The roof is on fire! We don't need Yassar, let the Muthah-F****r burn! Burn, Muth... er...
Abdul? Forgive me for questioning the edict of the imam, but if we chant it like that, doesn't it imply that he is not enjoying his 72 virgins?"


Muhammed and Abdul, squad-leaders extraordinaire, realize at the same time that the pattern in which they have arranged their squad is a reasonable facsimile of a Star of David. Each contemplates who to shoot to correct this transgression...

AM42 said...

#2 "Ahmed, you idiot! You said that you were absolutely certain that the Infidel's address was 1060 West Addison"

Van Helsing said...

#1: "All right, men. Now place the marshmellows on your bayonets and toast to a golden brown."

#2: A $100 prize to anyone who can do a single donut leaving a tire track across each terrorist's back.

V the K said...

Is it obvious that #9 is to the tune of "In the Navy," or should I make that more explicit.

Kevin Walker said...

C'mon, guys, Ricky Martin only goes for young boys with large thumbs. Hasn't Arafat taught your guys anything?