Thursday, August 18, 2005

Give These People A State, Part 1

1. The All-Ninja version of Rapunzel opens on Broadway.

2. "I don't want to talk to you no more, you empty headed animal food trough wiper. I fart in your general direction. Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries. Now, go away before I taunt you a second time. "

3. "Ninja Orgy on the Balcony at Medieval Times! Ninja Orgy on the Balcony at Medieval Times!"

4. "And then, King Arthur's castle is swarmed by Ninjas, and all of the knights of the Round Table are sliced to pieces." --- twist ending to M. Night Shyamalan's Camelot.

5. Ninjas swarm the Honeycomb Hideout, yeah! yeah! yeah!

6. "We are he-man woman haters/ We feed girls to alligators/We don't want no stinking girls/Our black hoods look fab with pearls..."

1. After losing in Federal Court, Domino's was forced to make deliveries to the inner city. Certain precautions were also put in place.

2. "All right, men, we got a 14-58, Ninja Orgy on the Balcony at Medieval Times!"

3. Ahemd was the kind of guy who couldn't take a leak by the side of the road unless he was absolutely sure no one was watching.

4. COPS: Provincetown. "All right men, we got 6-88, man in leather hood sodomizing a beagle."

5. "Call Mr. Jihad, that's my name. That name again, is Mr. Jihad."

6. "All right you kids, we are strangers, nevertheless, you will take our candy!"


AM42 said...

Hey V the K, some guy named Mr. Plow is looking for you.

Something about copywrite infringement.
: )

Divine Miss M said...

First photo: A local crew prepares the set and rehearses for the long-awaited Pink Floyd reunion: The Wall, Live at Gaza.

Second: An interpretive dance troupe performs as Pink Floyd plays "In the Flesh" and "Waiting for the Worms."

Chevy Rose said...

I must tell you, I just found your site last night and had to come again tonight to get a good belly laugh (It's been a bad week for me). Where to do your commenters come from? Comedy Central? ROFLOL, very funny minds....I love it.

Van Helsing said...

#1: "No, wait until they're almost at the top. Then you cut the rope."

#2: "This isn't the First National Bank, it's the middle of nowhere! I knew we should have turned left at the last sand dune."

Submariner said...

V the K - In the spirit of a couple of your posts:

#1 Damn hard to practise for the "Lumberjack" song scene here in Gaza, but we make do thanks to the contribution of western infidels.

#2 Armed to the teeth and dripping with over-confidence, Ahmed's flippant last words hang in the air; "Don't worry, Abdul. We soldiers of Allah can take care of a cute little bunny..."

Jonathan said...

#1: Scenes from the homoerotic flick "Beverly Hills Men-ja"

#2: "Muhammed, are thinking that this 'snipe hunting' thing was a practical joke? Boy, Ahmed's head will roll for this one!"

bubbalove said...

"Allright, the first one who gets down and cuts the infedel's head off the fastest gets an extra 10 virgins in Paradise!"
Exiting the U.N. ambulance in one smooth motion, the brave jihadis make quick work of the Girl Scout all-night camp-out.

jeff said...

The top pic has me thinking about the next to last scene in "The Blues Brothers" as the Chicago Police SWAT team is rappelling down the side of the Cook County Courthouse, all while chanting... well, I don't think it can be spelled what they were chanting.