Wednesday, August 24, 2005

And Now a Guy Who Is Really Unhappy with Fuji Film

Yutaka Fukufuji, who played with the Japan's national ice hockey team three times, displays his Los Angeles Kings jersey during a news conference in Tokyo

1. The "Free the Fuji 36" movement eventually provoked a backlash.

2. Under the provisions of the exchange, a fat Canadian was sent to Tokyo for Sumo training.

3. Apparently, Wayne Gretzky's dad visited a lot of Tokyo brothels during the war.

4. "I was just a normal Canadian boy. Then, puberty hit and I started turning Japanese."

5. Shamed by the jokes it provoked, and wanting to adopt something both Western and evocative of Canada, Yutaka Fukufuji eventually changed his name Harry Beaver.

6. Fuji's team-mates were pissed about his contract breaking the salary cap and found a way to make their feelings known.

7. By the end of the first period of his first NHL match, three announcers had been suspended for FCC violations.

8. The chanting at away games always made him wonder why the other team's fans would be rooting for him, specifically.

- Sourced -


Van Helsing said...

Sure it looks a little big for him now, but after his steroid regimen gets underway, the jersey will fit fine.

Tess Turbo said...

Andrew Sullivan's thighs started quivering when he learned that "Fukufuji" was the Japanese word for "fingercuffs."

Submariner said...

Yutaka took great delight publicly deriding his ex-girlfriend Fuji's weight gain when she hit 36 kilo...

(And before anyone says it, I know that's only around 85 lbs. Have you seen some of those Japanese models?)

Kevin Walker said...

I love 7. It would be just as funny if that would really happen. How the Hell do you pronounce his name?

Mike's America said...

Japan has an ice hockey team? Who knew?

Got to love that name, FukuFuji.

carl said...

Not wishing to be out done, the Canadian Hockey League announced today they had signed a young Eskimo player named 'Kissmekodak.'

After some reseach it was discovered that the name 'Fukufuji' was a hybrid of the only words the American soldier spoke while having sex with the childs mother.

Reporter: "Isn't that jersey just a bit big for you, son?
Fukufuji: "A rittro."

Reporter: "Isn't that jersey just a bit big for you, son?"
Fukufuji: "Yes, but a couple hot water washings will cure that."

Reporter: "I didn't know that Japan had 'real' hockey teams.
Fukufuji: "I didn't know U. S. had 'real' sushi-bars.
The news conference was dead silent.

V the K said...

Q. How do you get hockey jerseys so clean Mr. Fukufuji A. Ancient Chinese secret...

Rodney Dill said...

Without having a single minute of ice time, his teammates wondered how Fukufuji had scored a $10 Million Kodak endorsement

FUJI Photo immediately dropped all endorsement agreements with the NHL

Once in Detroit, Fukufuji had to be taught not to eat the octopi thrown on the ice.