I am so glad to hear that Demi Moore says she feels married to Ashton Kutcher. Not actually married, but I wouldn't want her to actually go to the hassle of signing the pre-nup, renting out the hottest Hollywood rave bar, and swearing an oath before a cult leader.
1. "Oh, just wait until we get to the car young man, mommy is going to give you such a spanking."
2. Ironically, in the middle of her pissy lecture about the proper way to pronounce her name, 'Duh-MEE' Moore was run down and killed by a 'SEM-Eye' truck.
3. "Hurry up, or we'll miss P. Diddy's entourage pistol-whipping the valet."
4. Q. What does Demi Moore do after she shaves her pussy? A. Puts a trucker's cap on his head and sends him to work.
5. "Do you have to do that lame-wad 'Dude, where's our car,' shtick every time we go anywhere?"
No Government Cheese