Sunday, August 21, 2005

Adjusted for Quail

I am so glad to hear that Demi Moore says she feels married to Ashton Kutcher. Not actually married, but I wouldn't want her to actually go to the hassle of signing the pre-nup, renting out the hottest Hollywood rave bar, and swearing an oath before a cult leader.

1. "Oh, just wait until we get to the car young man, mommy is going to give you such a spanking."

2. Ironically, in the middle of her pissy lecture about the proper way to pronounce her name, 'Duh-MEE' Moore was run down and killed by a 'SEM-Eye' truck.

3. "Hurry up, or we'll miss P. Diddy's entourage pistol-whipping the valet."

4. Q. What does Demi Moore do after she shaves her pussy? A. Puts a trucker's cap on his head and sends him to work.

5. "Do you have to do that lame-wad 'Dude, where's our car,' shtick every time we go anywhere?"

No Government Cheese


Cybrludite said...

Actually, it's just Diddt now. No P. Urination joke goes here...

Cybrludite said...

Er, Diddy, that is.

SOTG said...

#2 caption made me laugh-out-loud, man. That was good.

TC said...

Oh man, #4 almost cost me a cup of coffee through the sinus!

Tomslick said...

When I was a little bitty baby,
My Demi used to rock me in the cradle
In those old cotton fields back home.