Sunday, August 21, 2005

Adjusted for Quail

I am so glad to hear that Demi Moore says she feels married to Ashton Kutcher. Not actually married, but I wouldn't want her to actually go to the hassle of signing the pre-nup, renting out the hottest Hollywood rave bar, and swearing an oath before a cult leader.

1. "Oh, just wait until we get to the car young man, mommy is going to give you such a spanking."

2. Ironically, in the middle of her pissy lecture about the proper way to pronounce her name, 'Duh-MEE' Moore was run down and killed by a 'SEM-Eye' truck.

3. "Hurry up, or we'll miss P. Diddy's entourage pistol-whipping the valet."

4. Q. What does Demi Moore do after she shaves her pussy? A. Puts a trucker's cap on his head and sends him to work.

5. "Do you have to do that lame-wad 'Dude, where's our car,' shtick every time we go anywhere?"

No Government Cheese

5 comments:

Cybrludite said...

Actually, it's just Diddt now. No P. Urination joke goes here...

Cybrludite said...

Er, Diddy, that is.

SOTG said...

#2 caption made me laugh-out-loud, man. That was good.

TC said...

Oh man, #4 almost cost me a cup of coffee through the sinus!

Tomslick said...

When I was a little bitty baby,
My Demi used to rock me in the cradle
In those old cotton fields back home.