Monday, July 25, 2005
1. "Never mind the book, what the hell is that big fat transvestite doing in your front yard?"
2. "Look, pinky, according to Michael Moore, Bush began plotting 9-11 while AWOL from the Texas Air National Guard. I must post this to Democratic Underground at once."
3. "... and this was another one of the Freeway Killer's victims... and I'll do the same thing to you if you don't tell me where you hid my meds!!!"
4. "See, in my yearbook, I was voted 'Most Likely to Keep the Remains of a Deceased Relative in His Attic.' But I showed them!"
5. "Shut up, Mr. Curvy Neck. The Bridges of Madison County is a work of genius... genius! I tell you!"
6. "Look, Pinky, Penthouse Forum published your letter."
7. "O.K. I know you guys are the real killers, and I did agree to hide you out while the heat was on, but that was ten years ago, and O.J. isn't really looking, anyway."
8. "All right, one more story, but then I have to go play Magic: The Gathering with my collection of Garden Gnomes."
Hat tip: SondraK