Sunday, July 10, 2005
Un Rectume Dit 'Quoi'
1. "Jacques, to make such a face at a 'Surviviors of Auto-Erotic Asphyxiation Support Group Meeting' is very insensitive."
2. Pssst, Bono. When Frenchmen start holding their breath around you, it's time to shower.
3. "Jacques, Spit out that hamster this instant!"
4. "We've boarded up the fireplace. There will be no escape. Begin the exorcism."
5. "I'm guessing from his expression that the Benzedrine Express has just left the station."
6. "Oh, and ze pinstripes, zey clash with ze mullet. I am just saying..."
7. A Celebrity Panel on France's #1 Game Show tries to guess, "Who Did Chirac Just Blow?"
8. Undergoing intensive Scientology "processing," Chirac prepares to confront the invisible "Thetans" that have been tormenting him ... he also looks like he's about to blow chunks.
9. "Ach, I knew ye couldn't hold down yer scotch, ye great cheese-eatin' poodle-humper."
10. Strange But True: Jacques Chirac not only has seen Animal House 167 times, but he also feels compelled to re-enact John Belushi's "zit" impression to honored guests and claim the idea as his own.
Hat Tip: Kabasue
More in this vein at: Moonbattery