Monday, July 18, 2005
They Say That Cat Rove's a Bad Mutha... Shut Yo Mouth!... But I'm Talking 'bout Rove... And We Can Dig It
1. "As President of the United States, it's a pleasure to present a Laurel and Hardy handshake to our administration's new ..."
2. "Yo! Washington Press Corps. Let me blow some more covers for you. Rosie O'Donnell is a lesbian! Janet Reno is ugly! Tom Cruise is a nut! Michael Jackson likes little boys!"
3. "Karl, you sick freak, are you using your telekinetic powers to make Helen Thomas crap her pants again?"
4. "I never said anything about Valerie Plame. Some idiot named 'Gump' was answering the phones that day."
5. "Gary Coleman for Chief Justice of the Supreme Court! Rove, you've done it again, you magnificient bastard."
6. The coconut-like sound of John McCain's and Chuck Schumer's heads colliding as they ran for the same TV camera secretly delighted Karl Rove.
7. "Thanks for keeping them talking about Valerie Plame, Karl. It really keeps them distracted from the strangled hookers I've been leaving in ditches ass over the eastern seaboard."
8. "Hey, Rove, anybody ever tell you in the right light, you look like the Fairy Godmother from Cinderella? You know, 'Salaga-doola, menchika-boola, Bibbidi-bobbidi-boo?'"
9. "Nothing to see here, just a routine evacuation of the White House. Happens all the time. By the way, I think you're all going to regret making fun of 'Duck and Cover' all these years in about... oh, three minutes and thirteen seconds."
10. "Karl, the new secret service guy just said, 'Meesa people gonna die?' What the hell does that mean and where the hell did you find him?"
BTW: The Real Caption is so tortured to try to accuse Rove of doing something naughty it's almost hilarious.