Sunday, July 17, 2005

Robot Camel Jockeys

When I used to think about jobs that could be performed by robots, I was thinking... janitors, handling nuclear waste... Qatar banned the use of children in camel races following criticism that infants were being brought in from poor countries to race the camels.

1. "Bite my shiny metal, camel-scented, ass!"

2. Cartman would regret claiming that Awesome-O was programmed to ride camels AND satisfy the perverse desires of Persian Gulf oil ticks.

3. "Wait, my cheating unit malfunctioned. You gotta' give me a do-over."

4. This is not the first time child labor has been replaced by automatons. For example, in 1994, Michael Jackson purchase a blow-up doll to replace Macauley Culkin.

5. "Yes, the robots camel riding skills compare favorably with those of Bangledshi children, but the way the Swiss programmed them to yelp when you smash the back of their heads with the butt of a whip was the icing on the cake."

6. "Oh, man, I am tell you guys, when SkyNet becomes self-aware, I know one oil tick who's so gonna get a jackhammer enema."

7. "Yeah, I know, we could be in Japan battling space monsters and rescuing big-eyed anime chicks... but 'No-o-o-o-o-o-o-o....'"

DOHA, QATAR: Robotic camel jockeys designed by an unidentified Swiss company are in action during this first camel race in which seven Robots were tested, 13 July 2005 in Doha. Qatar


Tess Turbo, quoting Cotton McKnight said...

"I have been to the Great Wall of China. I have seen the Pyramids of Egypt. I've even witnessed a grown man satisfy a camel. But never in all my years as a sportscaster have I witnessed something as improbable, as impossible, as what we've witnessed here."

Jonathan said...

" this gonna be a SLOOOOW sports summer or not?"

Kevin Walker said...

Once Star Wars ended, R2D2 needed a new job.