Monday, July 25, 2005
Ricky Martin, Making This Too Damn Easy
1. "Spare change... spare change... spare change for a washed-up pop star and his 'youthful ward?'... spare change."
2. "I need my prostate gland expressed. So take your thumb, like so, and shove it up my ass. I'm glad you brought these towels, too. We're going to need 'em."
3. "Yeah, you got me. 'livin' la vida loca' is Latin slang for pederasty."
4. "Sorry, I can only give these elephant ears one thumb up. My youthful ward likes them, though."
5. "Can I shove this weird unidentified object deeply into my rectum... awwww yeah!"
6. "Don't worry, Ahmed. When I get my thumb working your prostate, you'll hit those high notes."
7. What is it about Ricky Martin that lends itself to a raft of anal-penetration captions?
8. I don't know, this picture just has a weird Eddie Van Halen - Valerie Bertinelli vibe to it.
1. "...and by the power vested in me by the state of Massachusetts..."
2. "Mmm, feel those lats. Have you been working out, Hassim?"
3. "Wow! Is this jacket chenille? It's fabulous!"
4. "Is that a suicide bomb belt under your suspiciously large jacket, or are you just happy to see me?"
5. "No, Hassim, safe sex doesn't mean wearing the condom on your head."
6. "Welcome to the Neverland Ranch, Mr. Martin!
7. "OK. Can't breathe. Time to let go. Really. Can't breathe.
8. "That's a nice start, Hassim, but that embroidered jacket was $200. I expect a little more than a hug and a kiss for the money I spent."
9. "Thank you for teaching me about frottage, Mr. Martin. I'll never forget you!"