Monday, July 25, 2005

Ricky Martin, Making This Too Damn Easy

Real Caption

1. "Spare change... spare change... spare change for a washed-up pop star and his 'youthful ward?'... spare change."

2. "I need my prostate gland expressed. So take your thumb, like so, and shove it up my ass. I'm glad you brought these towels, too. We're going to need 'em."

3. "Yeah, you got me. 'livin' la vida loca' is Latin slang for pederasty."

4. "Sorry, I can only give these elephant ears one thumb up. My youthful ward likes them, though."

5. "Can I shove this weird unidentified object deeply into my rectum... awwww yeah!"

6. "Don't worry, Ahmed. When I get my thumb working your prostate, you'll hit those high notes."

7. What is it about Ricky Martin that lends itself to a raft of anal-penetration captions?

8. I don't know, this picture just has a weird Eddie Van Halen - Valerie Bertinelli vibe to it.

1. "...and by the power vested in me by the state of Massachusetts..."

2. "Mmm, feel those lats. Have you been working out, Hassim?"

3. "Wow! Is this jacket chenille? It's fabulous!"

4. "Is that a suicide bomb belt under your suspiciously large jacket, or are you just happy to see me?"

5. "No, Hassim, safe sex doesn't mean wearing the condom on your head."

6. "Welcome to the Neverland Ranch, Mr. Martin!

7. "OK. Can't breathe. Time to let go. Really. Can't breathe.

8. "That's a nice start, Hassim, but that embroidered jacket was $200. I expect a little more than a hug and a kiss for the money I spent."

9. "Thank you for teaching me about frottage, Mr. Martin. I'll never forget you!"

Real Caption


tomslick said...

Upside, inside out she's livin la vida allah akbar
She'll push and pull you down, livin la vida allah akbar

Jonathan said...

"We're just a couple of 'Wild and Crazy Guys!'"

SicSemperTyrannus said...

1. I'm Gumby, damn it! And this is my little friend "Pokey".

2. Ricky Martin and his hairdresser re-enact the hair gel scene from "There's Something About Mary"

Van Helsing said...

"Let go of my ear, you little @#$%^&*!"

Anonymous said...

That little incident in which Japanese Red Army terrorists working for the Palestinian PFLP slaughtered 18 Puerto Rican pilgrams was right-on! From the river to the sea!

Jonathan said...

Ricky Martin flashes his Ahmed Fonzarelli "Ayyyyyyyyyyyy!"