Saturday, July 30, 2005

Promises, Promises

News Item: Fossilized Piece of Dinosaur Dung Helen Thomas Vows Suicide if Dick Cheney Runs for President. (Heard the story on Glenn Beck, but thanks to Moonbattery for the link.)

Unfortunately, the best caption-ready picture of this Gorgon of the Washington Press Corps, was up at HuffToast and came pre-captioned. I checked the usual search engines and couldn't find the original, alas.

2. "Mr. President, once you've had a gummy-hummer, you'll never go back to girls with teeth."

3. "Back during the New Deal, Roosevelt used to bang me like a screen door." "Franklin?" "No, Eleanor."

4. "No, Bill you don't make me wet. Nothing personal, it's just the plumbing's been dust and spiderwebs since the LBJ Administrion."

5. "No, I am definitely not... oh, what's the word... come on, now... think of it, think of it... don't tell me... um, damn, what's the word... comeon, brain... um... senile... that' sit, No, I'm definitely not senile President Kennedy."

6. After addressing the American Toy Association, President Clinton was presented with the world's largest, ugliest, and most virulently left-wing troll doll.

7. "Oh, damn, here come Mikulski and Boxer. They probably want the eye and the tooth back."


Passionate Conservative said...

This begs for a part 2.

Jonathan said...

I put my hand upon your hip,
When I dip, you dip, we dip!

ThatGayConservative said...

Gummy-hummer. LMAO.

Van Helsing said...

Few people know that Bill Clinton and Helen Thomas are actually siblings, or that the movie Basket Case, about a guy whose hideous half-absorbed Siamese twin is surgically removed and becomes a monster, is actually based on their true story.

Van Helsing