Wednesday, July 06, 2005

In my family, this is what we call a lightweight.

Hat Tip: American Mind

1. People Unclear on the Concept: Debbie was always told that she looked better after three or four beers.

2. Jenna Bush's Breakfast of Champions.

3. Saw. Ted. Kennedy. In. Speedo. Must. Drink. To. Forget. Must. Drink. To. Forget.

4. "Oh, gross. There's a dead hamster in this one. Oh, what the hell, it's beer."

5. "Ah, alcohol, the cause of ... and the solution to ... all of life's problems."

6. "The terrorists have taken over my stomach and have demanded beer! I will appease them!"

7. "Hey, Kids! Watch Mommy slam!"

8. "Ah, beer... the perfect substitute for... food."

9. "Um, mom, shouldn't you have brought something else to the picnic? Like sandwiches, or hard-boiled eggs. Just sayin'."

10. "Well, Mr. Budweiser, if you truly are the 'President of Beers,' then you can just call me 'Miss Lewinsky.'"

11. The first female Northwest Airlines pilot completes her "Pre-Flight Check."

12. "Well, now that daddy's gone, I guess I'm the man of the house. So, I'm gonna slam some beers, urinate on the drapes, grope my sister-in-law and pass out in the front yard."


AM42 said...

5a. "Oh, gross. There's a dead hamster in this one... "

*picks hamster out of beer by the tail*

"Spit it out, damn you... SPIT IT OUT!"

AM42 said...

Doh! That should have been 4a.

Jonathan said...

"Must hurry! Two-for-one Happy Hour here at the Regal Beagle ends in four minutes and nine seconds!"

AM42 said...

VtheK... paging VtheK... are you out there? This requires your immediate attention!

V the K said...

AlphaMu, I think that link ALSO demands the caption. "Spit it out, Damn you, Spit it out!"

I'll get to it. ;-)

AM42 said...

LMAO! Thanks.

Jonathan said...

"What do ya mean, 'There is no screening for Leaving Las Vegas II'? I've been practicing like this for the sequel for two weeks now!"

AM42 said...

"In my family, this is what we call a lightweight."

Sure... but you fail to mention that she had already downed 40 hard-boiled eggs at this point.

Brian J. said...

"The two-fisted slobber? A piker."

Merovign said...

"Sorry guys (hic), they didn't (hic) fill the up cups (hic) up all the way (hic)... I'll go get more."

Divine Miss M said...

An Omega Mu sister demonstrates the proper technique for bellowing her sorority mating call: "Ooohhh, I'm SOOOOO drunk!"

Van Helsing said...

"I can't believe George Soros promised to give me $1,000,000 if I can pick the one he soaked his dentures in."

Van Helsing

Tomslick said...

Really? I have been selected to perform Ted Kennedy's massage? Waiter, 147 more beers please.

TC said...