Tuesday, July 05, 2005

He Is the Walrus, Koo Koo C'Choo

1. "Now, this girl I kept alive in my toolshed for two weeks before I finished her off."

2. "Ah, and here we are at the Eagle's Nest in 1936. Check out Rudolph Hess making 'bunny ears' behind Der Fuhrer's head."

3. "And here I am with Lee Harvey in Havana. What a Patsy."

4. "Look at the nice firm buttocks on that one. Makes you hard just thinkin' about it, doesn't it?"

5. "That's Bobby Kennedy on my right and Marilyn Monroe on my left. Now, what's interesting is when I say 'Did her' and 'Did him,' that phrase can have multiple levels of meaning...."

6. "Jeez, I thought you'd bring pictures of us to the reunion, not a whole album of shirtless Leo di Caprio pics from Teen Beat."

7. "Um, grandpa, why do all the pictures of Grandma have the eyes scratched out?"

8. "... and here I am cutting the brake lines on Ted Kennedy's car. I consider that one a near-miss."

9. "Anyway, now that Sandra Day O'Connor is retiring and abortion is still legal, these pictures of us going at it doggy-style in an alley behind the Triple-XXX theater can finally go public."

10. "... and here I am sprinkling ipecac on Jimi Hendrix's tuna fish sandwich."

11. "... and so I says to L. Ron, 'just make up the craziest sh*t you can think of, those Hollywood dopes'll eat it up...'"

12. The creepy part came a moment later when he stood up and sang "Memory, All alone in the moonlight, I can smile at the old days. I was beautiful then...."

1 comment:

st rage said...

Damnit, can't an old man just pose with his high school photo album without some moron making him out to be some homicidal, drug-addicted, Nazi prevert?"