1. "Billy, before this goes any further, are you really gay like DailyKos says? Because I don't want to get burned again."
2. "Harry Potter and the Flying Nectarine, man J.K. Rowling's really just phoning it in, isn't she?"
3. "Sorry, Billy, I take my men like I take my coffee... strong and black."
4. "'And if my demands are not met, the screams of those who have wronged me will fill the...' How do you spell 'cafeteria?'"
5. "We're playing 'Coffee Shop Losers.' I'm writing bad poetry and Jenny's pretending to be a Wiccan who teaches Womyn's Studies."
6. "My dad was tattoing a circuit diagram on my forehead when the social workers arrived. What's your story?"
7. "This is so lame. Everybody knows we have to etch the sigils in our own blood for Cthulu to appear."
8. "Billy, you simpleton, everybody knows when you got an ace and a six and the dealer's up card is a 5, you double down!"
9. "I'm working on a time-travel spell so I can go to the year 2012 and check out Hermione Granger's Playboy pictorial."
10. "Mine says, 'You are blessed with wisdom, compassion, and fortitude... in bed!"
5 comments:
"But it wasn't a pick! It was a scratch of the nose!"
Obscure Seinfeld reference
"You want me to sign this autograph with 'Your pal, Beelzebub'?"
Harry concentrates intensely, aware that if he doesn't write the spell properly, he'll soon be wearing a dunce cap like his sister.
"I wouldn't sweat it, sis. Howard Dean won't steal your hat, since it's purple and not tinfoil."
Love #4, although I simultaneously condemn it. Great stuff, thanks for the daily laughs.
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