Friday, June 03, 2005

You Are Now Free to Moon the Country

1. Andrew Sullivan awkwardly attempts to get the attention of a hot baggage handler.
2. In an attempt to cut costs, meal services on USAirways will now consist of a dead rat hung over each seat.
3. "I'm thinking Johnson ain't on board with the America West merger."
4. "As a matter-a-fact, I do get a plumber working on row 23-F. Why'd'ya ask?"
5. "Then, the terrorist grabbed the gun from the Sky Marshall, blew out the window. Explosive decompression. We were goners. If only we had something big enough to plug the hole. Then someone remembered! Michael Moore was on this flight!"
6. After being refused a Federal Bailout, the airline was saved when USAirways successfully got an NEA Performance Art Grant.
7. "Rectum? Damn near KILLED him!"
8. "Something about a 'g-dammed cat hogging the lavatory' and he just couldn't hold it."
9. (singing) "I See... A Bad Moon Risin'..."
10. "Damn, I had no idea you bitches were such horny sluts." "We prefer 'flight attendant.'


AM42 said...

Classified as an explosive gas under a recent revision to the Patriot Act, flatulence must now be released outside of the cabin.

AM42 said...

This looks like one of those bad jokes that mechanics like to play...
"Yep, we're going to have to ground this plane, boss. One of the passenger windows has a huge crack in it. Really, go see for yourself."

Anonymous said...

On the "runs" since 9/11, Osama Bin Laden gestures in his favorite pose, what he really thinks about his "victories" in Afghanistan, Iraq and Libya. He proclaims, "Continue with the Kor'anal' Movement!"