Wednesday, June 29, 2005

Such an abundance of freaks. Such a shortage of bell towers.



Yeah, nothing makes you want to take someone's cause more seriously than when they colorize their epidermis with colors not found in nature.

1. "Aw, jeez, Edith. There's more colored people moving into the neighborhood."

2. Captain Kirk's illegitimate children show up demanding back child support.

3. "Satan commands thee, more Slim Fast for my bitches!"

4. "Satan Man, Satan Man, doin' the things that Satan can. Eternal damnation -- that's his plan -- Damnin' Man, Satan Man."

5. "Well, if our technicolor skin doesn't convince the fascists of the righteousness of our cause," Moonbeam said, "My stirring rendition of 'I Will Survive' will!"

6. "Don't worry about the guard dogs," Moonbeam said. "Dogs can't see color, so our camouflage should work perfectly."

7. "'Get Thee Behind Me, Satan?' Ha! Nice try, Andrew Sullivan."

8. "Aw, shit, the popsicles are coming to life.These are worst DT's ever."

9. "... and here we see the artist's vision in full flower, as he symbolically demonstrates his belief that Negroes are tormented by tiny 'colored demons' who exhort them to commit crime and pester righteous white women." Guide to the Watercolors of Senator Robert Byrd, Robert Byrd Museum of Art, Robert Byrd, WV.

10. In the Alternate Universe, President Dennis Kucinich and his advisors rally in support of his nominee for Chief Justice, Mumia Al-Jamal.

12 comments:

AM42 said...

VtheK, I didn't know you were a TMBG fan.

AM42 said...

Despite the Blue Man Group's long running popularity, the Rowdy Rainbow Bunch never managed even a cult following.

AM42 said...

M&M's new "in your face" marketing campaign was doomed to fail from the start.

Tomslick said...

In other news today, traffic was backed for miles along elm street when a wayward band of teletubbies voiced their demand for genitals.

AM42 said...

"...and tell our enemies that they may take our Che shirts, but they will never take our grande mocha frappuccinos."

Dan said...

The high school's field trip to the nuclear power plant didn't go as well as hoped...

Submariner said...

"Jesse! Jesse! Over here! NOW can we join your coalition? We renounced our whiteness and everything..."

sonicfrog said...

Dr. Frahnousen disputes the hypedermic theory of children and mass media; "No, there is no scientific proof. For instance, it has not been shown that the "Tele-Tubbies" TV program has had any lasting effect on children who grew up watching them. There is no lasting effect. No effect at all".

Jonathan said...

"Hey, which one of them thar Teletubbies is supposed to be the queer one? OH, the one with his hand up!"

GeekInBlack said...

The illegitimate sons and daughters of Captain Kirk.

GeekInBlack said...

Damn, I didn't read #2 on your already published list. Just makes it that much more funnier.

AM42 said...

Green, Purple
Red, Orange!
We're all vegans
Why aren't -


Dammit moonbeam! You're supposed to be blue. BLUE!
Shit... now we'll have to come up with something to rhyme with orange...