Tuesday, June 21, 2005

Real Headline Says It All

Gay Or Straight? Hard to Tell.

1. Based on the poster, I'm guessing Fight Club II will be nothing but bitch-slaps and hair-pulling.

2. Hard to tell? Even when he's wearing a bright pink shirt and playing pocket pool? Your gaydar must be Soviet-Era.

3. Five guys who are completely unaware that the words "power tools" exist outside a p0rn0graphic context.

4. What has five legs, ten heads, and a cumulative IQ of seventy?

5. From L-to-R, 1.) Used to wank while thinking of Jennifer Aniston, 2.) Banged a waitress while thinking of Jennifer Aniston, 3.) Banged Jennifer Aniston, 3.) Fantasized that he was Jennifer Aniston while being banged by a waiter who looked like #3, and 5.) Thinks he's prettier than Jennifer Aniston.

6. "All right, ma'am, just look at the line-up and tell us who stole your purse... No. 4, step forward and scream, 'it's fabulous, I simply must have it!'"

7. "So, this is Purgatory."

8. "Wow, who would have thought a simple avocado facial rinse would have thrown all of us out of the space-time continuum?"


Tess Turbo said...

Not-so-obscure reference: Which one of these guys do you bet is the kind of guy that would @#$% a person in the @$$ and not even have the %$&# common courtesy to give him a reach-around?

Kevin Walker said...

tess turbo: Full Metal Jacket, nice one.

Sharon said...

"1. Based on the poster, I'm guessing Fight Club II will be nothing but bitch-slaps and hair-pulling."

Funny! If you want to see domething close to this, rent or buy Dave Chapelle's Season 2 disk set. Episode 11 has a bit about those ideas that we're "too hot for TV", and one of them is Don King's "Friday Night Sissy Fights", where effeminate men fight each other b*tch-style.