Saturday, June 25, 2005

An Old Farmer and A Tractor. Could this Be Any Wholesomer?

As you can tell from this picture, not a lot happens in the town I grew up.

1. "Wanna hear about when the aliens probed me?"

2. "60 years of farming and I still have all my limbs."

3. "You'd be suprised how many teenaged hitch-hikers you can bury in a forty acre strawberry field."

4. "Ma, I can't live this lie any more. I sold the farm and I'm movin' to Fire Island with the feed salesman."

5. "I vas in Austria during the war. No more questions!"

6. "Any of you fellers seen my anal beads?"

7. "Hey, grandpa, what's with these nude pictures of Abe Vigoda?"

8. "Then, in the summer of '68, I smoked half a loaf of Grade-A Mexican hash, popped two dozen "Dr Smileys" and planted the whole back forty in jelly beans."

9. "Just take the damn picture! I got tickets to Slipknot."

10. "Some mornin's, I have to crank it for half an hour before it gets goin'. My tractor works great, though."

11. "Damnit, can't an old man just pose with his tractor without some moron making him out to be some homicidal, drug-addicted, Nazi prevert?"

1 comment:

Tess Turbo said...

It's such a wholesome scene, I can't bring myself to make fun!