Friday, June 17, 2005
Neverland Ranch Garden Gnomes
1. "Better not let Kathie Lee Gifford catch you slacking off. She'll whip your ass!"
2. "That's interesting, Billy. And what did the Prince of Pop ask for after you squatted on his chest?"
3. "Hey, a lima bean that resembles The Leader! I'll put it with the others."
4. "I warned you those six Habanera burritos would come back to haunt you."
5. "Tell me about the rabbits again, George."
6. "Wow! Those two Hobbits are really goin' at it over there."
7. "Oh, no! Billy's just seized up with one of his 'Pocalyptic Visions. I bet Tom Cruise just proposed to Katie Holmes."
8. "Movie... two words... Got it... 9 1/2 Weeks..."
9. "So, anyway, Billy, Mr. Jackson dressed you like Huck Finn and told you to call him what?"
10. "Two weeks of weeding the vegetable garden, but it was worth it to see the look on mom's face when she saw what I did to the dog." --- Aileen Wuornos, the Early Years.
11. "I still can't believe you ate all fifty eggs."
12. "Another earthworm? Gee, Gage, you aren't real particular about where you get your protein are you?"
13. "Another human bone? Bag it and get it to Grissom."
14. "I can't believe we paid the coyote $10,000 to end up doing this."
15. "Pssst, Billy, we're not supposed to organically fertilize until after the pickers leave."
16. "You have to wear a straw hat because you just exfoliated? Billy, you scare me."
Too Heavy on the Obscure References?
Source: The Newspaper in the Small Town Where I Grew Up.