Thursday, June 09, 2005

It's Sad When Age > IQ

Long story short, some Moonbat grannies in the SFO Bay Area (Natch) got up in arms over Wal-Mart showing a patriotic video on their in-store TV's and decided to relive their glorious days of rebellion in the 60s. (That would be the 1860's.)

1. "Oh, shit, our drummer just spontaneously combusted."

2. "All right, let's wrap it up and get over to Luby's for the 4:30 Early Bird and Flag-Burning."

3. "We're Sergeant Pepper's Lefty Farts Club Band..."

4. "If anybody yells 'DO "FREEBIRD"!' again, I'm going to take this accordion and shove it right up his ass. Sideways!"

5. In Hell, you will be forced to listen to endless Michael Bolton tunes covered by bitchy old women with accordions.

6. "And now a little Pink Floyd, from the album I can't remember the name of but I vividly recollect sorting stems and seeds on the gatefold sleeve of it. Here we go..."

7. "Thank you, thank you... catch us next week at the Farmer's Market, where we'll be running down some young people with our Toyota Avalons."

1. "... and one other thing, young man, Der Fuhrer would have known exactly what to do with social parasites like you!"

2. "Well, someone left a gray pubic hair in my 'Cracklin' Oat Bran' and we're not leaving 'til I find out who it is!"

3. "... and you Republicans, impeaching a president for a little oral action. Woodrow Wilson sodomized me regularly, and you didn't hear me bitch!"

4. "Fery Funny youn' man... Now, giff me back my teef!"

5. "And it was Karl Rove's mind-control confusion beam that caused me to confuse my Ben-Gay and Dentu-Creme."

6. Something tells me Andy Dick is off the wagon again.

7. "I'm a little teapot, short and stout..."


Anonymous said...

I think it's something in the SF water supply...

They really need to look into it.

Anonymous said...

"Where have all the wallflowers gone...?"
Now we know.
When will they ever learn?

Anonymous said...

(Woman pointing)
"Listen here young man, Don't you dare tell me 'not to get my panties in a bunch,' I am a liberated woman and I have not worn panties since 1964!"

Kimberly said...

Oh.My.God. It's the Red Hat Brigade meets MoveOn.Org. How terrifying.