Tuesday, June 28, 2005

Happy Hill-Billies

1.Bill and Hillary, for ScotchGuard(TM). With ScotchGuard, you never have to worry about stains. Hill likes the way it repels blood, and Bill's just wild about the way it resists... um, other compromising bodily fluids.

2. "Did I really inhale? Hell, look what I married."

3. Guests at Chappaqua were always amused by the words "Air Force One" embossed on the backs of all the recliners.

4. "Yellow jodhpurs? No, those are just her thighs."

5. Oh, God, he's touching me again. Must maintain illusion. Go to a happy place. Pretend he's Xena.

6. "Sorry, Hill. That's the chair Byrd was sitting in when his bladder gave out. Hey's but at least the stain won't show on that urine-yellow pants suit."

7. "Hillary, should I be at all concerned that watching the BTK Killer's Confession gets you hot?"

8. "Even Hillary's loose ass and huge thighs look good after a 24 pack of Schlitz."

9. "... about this tall, with a flat head and no teeth. Hillary, how would you describe the perfect intern?"

10. "My name is Bill Clinton, and I'm reporting for booty."


Van Helsing said...

OT, but you might be able to have some fun with this one. From Zombie, via Something... And Half of Something.

AM42 said...

...and so the Secret Service man says to me, "No Mr. Clinton, you're supposed to throw out the first pitch!"

Dan said...

If it hadn't been for Cotton-Eye Joe
I'd been married long time ago
Where did you come from where did you go
Where did you come from Cotton-Eye Joe...