Tuesday, June 14, 2005

California Justice Strikes Again

1. "Oh, I'm so glad this is over and life can be normal again. Get me a pack of naked cub scouts, get my Peter Pan outfit out of the closet, and shave Bubbles!"

2. "Tell O.J. I don't need help tracking down 'the real molesters,' but tell Robert Blake I'm totally up for an Our Gang marathon. I'll bring the Crisco."

3. "Whoa, that's the last time I'll ever share my bed with a 12 year old cancer boy ... well, probably not the last time."

4. "So, what size millstone do you figure my neck will need anyway ... a four, maybe a five?"

5. "Boyfinger, the pink lipstick really makes it hard for me to 'respect your authoritah!'"

6. "I'm going to Disneyland... and I'm gonna score too!"

7. "When I get acquitted of molestation, I touch myself..."

8. "Yes, the trial is over, but when will I get back my life, my career, my dignity, my extensive collection of Hobbit-p0rn?"


AM42 said...

I just want to let my fans know that I am truly touched by their support.

Truly, deeply touched.

Truly, deeply, tenderly touched.

Truly deeply, tenderly, longingly...

Divine Miss M said...

If I ever get famous -- really, really famous -- I'm moving to California where I know I'll be SAFE, no matter what I do.

d said...

On his way out of the courtroom, Wacko Jacko solemnly vows to spend the rest of his days finding the REAL perpetrator who diddled those boys.

David Letterman said...

"And, by the way, this just in: Saddam Hussein would like his trial moved to Santa Maria, California."

Anonymous said...

Oh me oh my, I am so glad it turned out the way it did, can you imagine being forced to share a bed with a grown man?

Laurence Chenier said...

I have some great ideas :) Nevermind. Next time.