Wednesday, May 18, 2005

OMG That's a Fat Baby!

1. Apu and Manjula were shocked when one of the octoplets cannibalized the other seven, but on the other hand, the 87% reduction in diaperage was welcome.

2. "He's already been recruited for a variety of technical support positions."

3. "Manjula, are you sure you and Michael Moore were 'just friends?'"

4. "Faster, damn you, faster! Krispy Kreme just lit up the 'Fresh Donuts' Sign."

5. "Who would ever have thought a child would have such a horrendous allergic reaction to curry?"

6. "Normally, we are a very even-tempered people, but if one more person suggests I need a wide-angle lens on the 7-11 security cameras, I am going to go Kali on their ass."

7."Oh, by Vishnu, I think we got you away from the Neverland Ranch just in the nick of time. Now, let's take you home and get you out of that G-string."

8. "The Buddha... Marlon Brando... John Candy... William Howard Taft... he is certainly the reincarnation of some big fat slob."

9. "Manjula, he just said his first words. 'Screw you guys, I'm going home.'"

10. "Bad gargantuan freak! You leave daddy's hairpiece alone!"

Update/Obscure Reference of the Day:

11. "Master-Blaster Rules Bartertown!"

Eleven-month-old Lokman Hakim Mondol, who weighs 48 pounds is brought at a hospital by his grandfather Tabarak Mullick, in Calcutta, India, Monday May 9, 2005. His mother, Jnanera Bibi, tries to cool him with a hand fan. Lokman consumes 5 liters of milk and 1 kilogram of rice-flour every day and is suspected to be suffering from a rare hormonal disorder. (AP Photo/Sudipto Das)


Cybrludite said...

And thus the first Indian sumo champion was born.

(BTW, it should be "cannibalized the other seven" of the octupolets, unless he ate himself as well.)

Anonymous said...

What? No Oliver Willis jokes?

"He ain't my brother, he's just heavy."


V the K said...

Good catch, cyberlude.

Oliver Willis is a tubbo? Color me not surprised. (He banned me, you know.)

Anonymous said...

"He ain't my brother, he's just heavy."
They didn't look alike because they were heterozygotes. Connected rectum to neck, the one on top could eat, while the other pooped. They were the Stan Laurel and "Oliver" Hardy of the Siamese Twin world.
pm said...

yeah yeah i knew i was big for my age but my pecker is the size of a grown man! said...

"I was tres petite before I started blogging"

Molicious said...