Monday, May 30, 2005

Hold Me Closer Tiny Dancer

German Chancellor Gerhard Schroder and French President Jacques Chirac make the four-legged, two-headed love beast while dancing to Yvonne Elliman's disco classic, "If I Can't Have You, I Don't Want Nobody Baby."

1. "Invade me, Gerhard! Invade me like a ravaging hun!"

2. Gallant promises to respect and cherish their relationship forever. Goofus feels smothered.

3. Jacques Chirac tries out some of the German his mother learned during the war. "Hello, handsome German soldier. Looking for a good time?"

4. "Eeeewwwwww... Euro-tongue."

5. "I can't help it, Gerhard. Harry Potter movies get me so damn hot!!"

6. Try as he might, Schroder just couldn't get past the image of Chirac doing it with Lumbergh.

7. "Did I ask for a hug? Do I look like I need a hug? Let me the f**k go!"

8. "Oh, don't be so uptight, Gerhard. This is Europe. Pretty much everybody's a fag."

9. Poot! "Ach! Du habst einen farten aus-squeezened!"

10. "Don't worry, mon ami, I will help you pass your gallstone!"

Hap Tit: Brian Sligowski


Anonymous said...

"Tell me I look like Albert Finney again and I'm yours!"


Ayatollah Ghilmeini said...

Zero Mostel is ALIVE!!!

realwest said...

"My God, sometimes you just have to bathe; cologne only works for so long, mon ami!!!"

Barking Pumpkin said...

Is that a gun in your pocket?

Kevin Walker said...

"Schroder, I have to tell you this; you are the father of my child."

Passionate Conservative said...

say it, don't spray it!

Anonymous said...

"What the hell did you have for lunch, anchovy and gorgonzola pizza? You DID? How was it?"