Friday, May 13, 2005
Binge Purge of the Sith
1. "Anatomically correct Chewbacca Action Figure my ass."
2. "You know, most people in a race-riot would be looting iPods, laptops, plasma screen TVs..."
3. "Life is but a meaningless delusion produced by the collective misery of highly evolved viruses clinging to a cold, dank, ball of mud destined ultimately for obliteration... but, hey, neat toys."
4. But the clerk did not fall for the 'Jedi Mindtrick' bullcrap and they were both busted for shoplifting.
5. "So, now that we kicked your ass and stole your toys, would you still 'rather be a crying little pussy than a faggy Goth kid?'"
6. "I'm beginning to expect that this 'Pearl and Brain Guy do it at Toys 'R' Us' fantasy was just a ruse to take me birthday shopping for your brat nephew."
7. "White shoes before Memorial Day? You really are Satan's whore."
8. "Nah, if he does a caption suggesting anal penetration, that a-hole in South Carolina is going to report him to social services again. I think we're safe."
9. "Hey, remember that time you saved a turd in a glass jar because you thought it looked like Yoda?"
10. "You know, if I had known the wedding gifts were going to be this crappy, I never would have moved to Massachusetts." -
Hat tip: Gandalf. (Actually, this came in some weeks ago. I thought it was appropriate for the opening of Episode III.)