Monday, May 02, 2005

"Are you a pouf, or are you an 'ero?"*

* Free copy of my book to the first reader who knows the reference.

1. "Why do they always stare at my crotch?" Spiderman wondered.

2. "On second thought, guys, let's just go with buttless leather chaps."

3. Spiderman accidentally outed himself by saying, "Even though it's called 'fisting' you don't actually make a fist."

4. With the arrival of the 'Patriotic Spandex Boys," the "elbow sex" orgy got even kinkier.

5. "And now, please rise as the Secretary of Defense, joined by Captain America and Spiderman, play our national anthem with their armpits."

6. Rumsfeld and Captain America have just noticed that Spiderman is peeing on their shoes.

7. "Et Tu, Rummy?"

8. "... and with superheroes, we won't need your wussy Italian soldiers." Then, Rumsfeld capped his speech with the Sicilian hand-gesture for, "Your mother likes it doggie style."

9. Spiderman positions himself to create the illusion of goat horns, a subtle nod to His Satanic Master.

10. "Guys, you gotta wield your elbows lower if you want to get in gut shots. Sheez, our roller derby team sucks."

Hat Tip: Lawhawk


Anonymous said...

Try as he might, Captain America just couldn't quite catch the rhythm of the country line dance.


Anonymous said...

Captain America just loves shopping for shields at Target.

Anonymous said...

My second caption tonight:
"Let's all 3 of us audition for the Blue Man Group. But Rummy, the tie and the spectacles have gotta go!"

Great website.

Anonymous said...

"Mr. Rumsfeld, these new designer burkas are a little tight around the eyebrows."

AM42 said...

While Captain America & Spiderman flex for the crowd, Rumsfeld inexplicably breaks into a awkward performance of I'm a Little Teapot...

AM42 said...

Still upset over their loss in the recent election, Senators Kerry & Edwards resort to donning superhero costumes and forcing the Secretary of Defense to punch himself in the head while repeating "There were no WMDs, there were no WMDs..."

AM42 said...

Rummy suddenly realizes he forgot deodorant.

AM42 said...

Unable to put a stop to ever-rising oil prices, the White House decides to promote the use of public transportation with its "Straphangers across America" campaign