Monday, May 02, 2005
"Are you a pouf, or are you an 'ero?"*
* Free copy of my book to the first reader who knows the reference.
1. "Why do they always stare at my crotch?" Spiderman wondered.
2. "On second thought, guys, let's just go with buttless leather chaps."
3. Spiderman accidentally outed himself by saying, "Even though it's called 'fisting' you don't actually make a fist."
4. With the arrival of the 'Patriotic Spandex Boys," the "elbow sex" orgy got even kinkier.
5. "And now, please rise as the Secretary of Defense, joined by Captain America and Spiderman, play our national anthem with their armpits."
6. Rumsfeld and Captain America have just noticed that Spiderman is peeing on their shoes.
7. "Et Tu, Rummy?"
8. "... and with superheroes, we won't need your wussy Italian soldiers." Then, Rumsfeld capped his speech with the Sicilian hand-gesture for, "Your mother likes it doggie style."
9. Spiderman positions himself to create the illusion of goat horns, a subtle nod to His Satanic Master.
10. "Guys, you gotta wield your elbows lower if you want to get in gut shots. Sheez, our roller derby team sucks."
Hat Tip: Lawhawk