1. "'He's got the whole world... (clap) in his hands, he's got the whole wide world'... c'mon, sing along! Are you people uptight or something?"
2. "Step turn kick... step turn kick... Yes! Thank you. Finally, you've got it. Now, give me a hug."
3. "I've always fantasized about having all my fingers pulled at once. Now, we just need one more guy."
4. "Not now, mom, I'm playing with my Army men."
5. "... and when I get to the second chorus.. 'I en-joy be-ing a girl'... you two guys lift me up and turn me."
6. "I don't know what the big deal was. I often wear panties on my head."
7. "Make it so!" "Thank you, next." Rumsfeld was beginning to fear that his dream of a Star Trek: The Next Generation Musical would never see Broadway for lack of a suitable Picard.
8. "I love the smell of napalm in the morning, but, dude, you only need to spritz Polo, not bathe in it."
9. "Chicks dig me because I rarely wear underwear and when I do it's usually something unusual."
10. Made from a space age polymer, Rumsfeld's stealth 'cat's cradle' was almost completely invisible.
Real Caption: US Defence Secretary Donald Rumsfeld, pictured with US troops in Iraq, has arrived in the southern city of Kandahar on a surprise visit to Afghanistan, a day after making a trip to Iraq(AFP/Pool/Gerald Herbert)