1. "Hey, Ted, um... I'm kinda busy, could you give Hillary and TuhRayZuh a ride home? Preferably by a route involving a lot of bridges?"
2. "It's all in the wrist, Ted."
3. "Jeeez, when Byrd invited us to a 'an old-fashioned southern housewarming' for Senator Obama, we had no idea he was going to light up a cross on his lawn."
4. "Can you turn away from the face of a hungry child? I know I sure can!"
5. "... and then the intern says, 'No, my teeth don't hurt. President Clinton said so!'"
6. "Pssst, Ted, smile for the peasants. It will give them hope as they return to their fetid hovels to eat their quaint meals of gruel and manure."
7. Smiles are contagious... so is that burning rash he picked up from a Saigon pro back in '68.
8. "Hi John!" "Hi Ted!" "How was your day?" "Not bad. Fell off a jetway again."
9. "Ted's smelling his fingers again... did you just spend ten minutes in the cloakroom with Barbara Boxer?"
10. "No Ted, I've got no idea what a 'nappy-ass weave' is. Let's ask Osama, Obama, whatever the Hell the colored guy's name is."
Senators John Kerry and Ted Kennedy, D-Mass., in the Rose Garden of the White House, Wednesday, April 13, 2005. (AP Photo/Lawrence Jackson)