Friday, April 01, 2005

The Standard Kennedy Handshake

Hat Tip: John Schneider and SondraK

1. Bruce successfully completes Phase 1 of the "Gay-to-Straight 12 Step Program."

2. Mr. Bean's Guide to Foreplay was widely regarded as the worst middle-school Sex Ed textbook ever.

3. Doing the Beavis 'n Butthead "Huh huh huh huh huh" laugh did nothing to defuse the awkwardness of the moment.

4. "Ummm... firm... perky... succulent... what's the adjective I'm looking for, here?"

5. "You squeeze it... her mouth opens... and a 'PEZ' comes out. Dudes, this is like the best present ever!"

6. "You have a kind face..." "Um, my face is up here." "I know."

7. "Pull your finger? No thanks, love, I like my idea better."

8. Click Here

9. "Oh, it's just a quick test to make sure your supple breasts will produce sufficient nourishment for our children should things proceed. You pass."

10. "Miss Ironbox, you are a valued member of our organization and I will give you a raise tomorrow if you come to work with your shirt off. Honk. Honk."

Courtesy of Tess Turbo.

11. "These feel weird." "Oh, that's 'cause they're real."

12. The optometrist convention was always a great place to meet other quality
professionals, but the "Do you like it better like this?...Or
like this?" line gets old fast.

13. "Sorry, ma'am... but under the new Homeland Security Regulations, these searches are mandatory."

Real Caption: "Spanish Prime Minister Jose Luis Rodriguez Zapatero talks to Noemi Sanin, the Colombian ambassador in Spain upon his arrival in Bogota, Colombia, Wednesday, March 30, 2005."

PS: somebody already beat me to the "They are real... and they're spectacular" caption.


Tom said...

Did you lose your linklists when changing your template?

V the K said...

Actually, I'm not sure what happened. When I posted this morning, the blog published using a completely different template than I had been using and the sidebar alterations were gone.

Anyway, I hated the new look, so I switched to this template and rebuilt some of the Blogroll. I don't know what happened with the old template. Maybe it's an April Fool prank from blogger.

Díaz de Vivar said...

It's the "Civilizations Alliance"...This shit man is a complete fool. Saludos desde la España no socialista.

Tom said...

Blogger has screwed up for the last time for me. I switched over to Motime at hamstermotor. I'll repost to my old blogspot blog when Blogger has lucid moments.

You're lucky. Pamela at Atlas Shrugged says that her page has been causing people's computers to crash.

Passionate Conservative said...

Funny, they don't FEEL lopsided....

Anonymous said...

Did the I get my money's worth or what? Would you like a private viewing?

Fetish Clothing said...

I like the picture...