Hat Tip: John Schneider and SondraK
1. Bruce successfully completes Phase 1 of the "Gay-to-Straight 12 Step Program."
2. Mr. Bean's Guide to Foreplay was widely regarded as the worst middle-school Sex Ed textbook ever.
3. Doing the Beavis 'n Butthead "Huh huh huh huh huh" laugh did nothing to defuse the awkwardness of the moment.
4. "Ummm... firm... perky... succulent... what's the adjective I'm looking for, here?"
5. "You squeeze it... her mouth opens... and a 'PEZ' comes out. Dudes, this is like the best present ever!"
6. "You have a kind face..." "Um, my face is up here." "I know."
7. "Pull your finger? No thanks, love, I like my idea better."
8. Click Here
9. "Oh, it's just a quick test to make sure your supple breasts will produce sufficient nourishment for our children should things proceed. You pass."
10. "Miss Ironbox, you are a valued member of our organization and I will give you a raise tomorrow if you come to work with your shirt off. Honk. Honk."
Courtesy of Tess Turbo.
11. "These feel weird." "Oh, that's 'cause they're real."
12. The optometrist convention was always a great place to meet other quality
professionals, but the "Do you like it better like this?...Or
like this?" line gets old fast.
13. "Sorry, ma'am... but under the new Homeland Security Regulations, these searches are mandatory."
Real Caption: "Spanish Prime Minister Jose Luis Rodriguez Zapatero talks to Noemi Sanin, the Colombian ambassador in Spain upon his arrival in Bogota, Colombia, Wednesday, March 30, 2005."
PS: somebody already beat me to the "They are real... and they're spectacular" caption.