1. "Abdul, you son of a pig and monkey! How can I hear the infidels approach if you can't keep that woodpecker from tapping against your skull?"
2. "... more like butt-pirate," the other insurgents snickered behind Abdul's back.
3. "Oh, for shit's sake Ahmed, are you to big a retard to even figure out the right way to use binoculars? Just how many generations inbred are you?"
4. "Damn! The Infidels would attack right in the middle of our production of Pirates of Penzance."
5. "Oh, swell, the pirate fantasy again. Shall I order the men to prepare their 'booty' for inspection, or should we just cut to the floggings?"
6. "Did that bird just crap in your lap or are you really happy to see me?"
7. Q. Who is this Iraqi insurgent terrorist's favorite state department official?
8. Abdul didn't care if the other insurgents thought he over-accessorized, Cher was his goddess!
9. "... and the bartender goes, 'Man, where did you pick up that hideous thing,' and the parrot says, 'Sunni Triangle.'"
10. "Look, Abdul! Ugly Naked Guy is beheading an infidel!"