Monday, April 18, 2005

The President Plays With His Balls

1. "Sorry 'bout that, but you guys wear cups for a reason, am I right?"

2. "Here, let's keep the rubes distracted while Karl Rove juices up the other team's Gatorade with horse tranq."

3. "Try to keep it in the spread. Laura's got a G riding on it."

4. "So, Brian... ever see a grown man naked?"

5. "Sorry about the wild pitch that just happened to bean Kennedy right on the forehead. My bad."

6. "Just to you know, Barb and Jenna are gonna chug everytime you scratch yourself."

7. "... I don't know, Cheney gave me these pills, said something about Doc Ellis... hey, are you aware there are little green gremlins jumping all over your back?"

8. "See if you can snag me a couple souvenir bats. Cheney and I are gonna go out and wreck some mailboxes later."

9. "You sure don't throw like a girl, Mr. President." "Don't kiss like one either. You busy later?"

10. Never having seen Independence Day, Bush totally freaked out when he turned around.

President George W. Bush is congratulated by Washington Nationals catcher Brian Schneider after the president threw out the ceremonial first pitch at the Washington Nationals home opener at RFK Stadium,

1 comment:

AM42 said...

"Don't worry kid, Rove will talk you through everything. Just make sure nobody photographs you from behind."

(or is that just a pack of cigarettes in Schneider's back pocket?)