Ass Press: “(ANWR Opponent) Sen. John Kerry, D-Mass., argued that more oil would be saved if Congress enacted an energy policy focusing on conservation, more efficient cars and trucks.”
1. "So, I say to Barack Obama, 'I don't think you want to pimp my ride, bro', I don't have those gold hubcaps you people like,' and he got very snitty. Jeez, try to reach out to some people."
2. "Hello, Mr Suburban... do you know who I am?"
3. "These aren't the bitches I ordered."
4. "Sorry, Jeeves, turns out that peasant wasn't blind, just wearing sunglasses. No points."
5. Kerry justified the Chevy Suburban saying it was the only vehicle with enough storage space to hold all of TuhRayZuh's medications.
6. "Verry good, suh, and were you successful in your attempts to procure crack from Cynthia McKinney?"
7. "I love the way you hold the door for me, James. It reminds me of how superior I am to all of you wretched peasants."
8. Sooner or later, all of Kerry's drivers find detours near grassy knolls and begin to mutter "back, and to the left...back, and to the left..." with odd little smiles on their faces.
9. "Yeah, John, we know Dick Cheney's daughter is a lesbian... just drop it already and get in the damned car."
10. In my fantasy, the driver is about thirty seconds from screaming "Allah Akhbar!" and reaching for the detonator.
Hat Tip: Viking(the)Pundit