Tuesday, March 29, 2005

Los Pollos Locos

Ward “Little Eichmanns” Churchill recently gave a bizarre appearance at The Women’s Building in San Francisco’s Mission District to promote his book. On the Justice of Roosting Chickens Here we see Churchill’s spooky, glazed-eyed fan club, the Cult of Roosting Chickens:

1. Deep in Kentucky, a bizarre cult awaits the return of their savior, a man whom they call 'The Colonel.'

2. It doesn't take much to make a LLL happy. A chicken hat, a Sponge Bob DVD, and a few tubes of airplane glue will keep one happy all day.

3. "The chicken is crapping directly into my brain. It's bliss-s-s-s-s-s-...."

4. "Note how Dark Side of the Moon like totally synchs up with The Wizard of Oz. What is the explanation for this phenomenon?" Professor Churchill then wrote the words, "Zionists" "Karl Rove" and "McNuggets" on the blackboard.

5. "The foil lined chicken blocks the tracking device Karl Rove implanted in my tampon."

6. Ward Churchill's next lecture, entitled, "'Original Recipe' for Oppression," explained the links between Colonel Sanders, the Kennedy Assassination, and the Buffalo Bills loss in the 1994 Super Bowl.

7. In fairness, listening to a Ward Churchill lecture is probably the only way to sit around with a chicken hat on your head and not feel stupid... relatively speaking.

8. "Women's Building?" "Chicks?" Otto's confusion was understandable... as was his subsequent disappointment.

9. Later on, they turned on the electrified floor and did some dancing.

10. "Look, in grandma's mind, it's still 1954 and she's still working her summer job at 'Popeye's' So, just humor grandma, wear the hat, and if she offers to let you check out her giblets again, just tell her you have a girlfriend."

Hat tip: Zomby


Impacted Wisdom Truth said...

Our brains will hatch in 5...4...3...2...1...

So caught... said...


Email me at kurzbemused (at) yahoo (dot) com

I have a question or two.

Anonymous said...

Who's for flying the coop.