Free legal advice from a law school drop-out. If you're on trial for child molesting, it is probably a bad idea to show up in court --- on the day your accuser takes the stand --- wearing Woody Woodpecker pajamas.
1. Oh, Lord, he's going to sing "I'm a Little Teapot." I gotta get out of here before he gets to his "spout."
2. Constant high-fives to "Tinkerbell" were unhelpful to the Jackson defense.
3. Dig the bodyguard on the right. He's totally got that, "Yeah, right and Liberace just never met the right woman" look.
4. His answer to the reporter's question "I'm going to Disneyland" ironically led to the next trial.
5. "Boyfinger, your pseudo-dermis is yellowing." "Quickly, Handjob, to the laboratory."
6. "Rakeem, did I ever tell you about the time I had a nine-year-old with the body of a seven-year-old?"
7. "What a day. Just take me home to Bonerland... I mean Neverland! Neverland!"
8. Michael Jackson answers the question, "What should the age of consent in California be?"
9. Separated at birth, Michael Jackson and Skeletor.
10. "Hold on, Rakeem, I'm cooking up a big one here." Michael Jackson: Pop star, pedophile, and world-class belcher.