Friday, March 11, 2005

The Gift That Keeps On Giving

Free legal advice from a law school drop-out. If you're on trial for child molesting, it is probably a bad idea to show up in court --- on the day your accuser takes the stand --- wearing Woody Woodpecker pajamas.

1. Oh, Lord, he's going to sing "I'm a Little Teapot." I gotta get out of here before he gets to his "spout."

2. Constant high-fives to "Tinkerbell" were unhelpful to the Jackson defense.

3. Dig the bodyguard on the right. He's totally got that, "Yeah, right and Liberace just never met the right woman" look.

4. His answer to the reporter's question "I'm going to Disneyland" ironically led to the next trial.

5. "Boyfinger, your pseudo-dermis is yellowing." "Quickly, Handjob, to the laboratory."

6. "Rakeem, did I ever tell you about the time I had a nine-year-old with the body of a seven-year-old?"

7. "What a day. Just take me home to Bonerland... I mean Neverland! Neverland!"

8. Michael Jackson answers the question, "What should the age of consent in California be?"

9. Separated at birth, Michael Jackson and Skeletor.

10. "Hold on, Rakeem, I'm cooking up a big one here." Michael Jackson: Pop star, pedophile, and world-class belcher.


Anonymous said...

oh my tummy hurts right here, can I go home now?

Monster Kabasue

VikingSpirit said...

I saw this comment of yours over at Young Pundit :"I'll vote for Hillary over McCain. His latest stunts ... denying servicemen promotions, and putting soldiers lives at risk by refusing to allow antiquated equipment to be replaced, all as a ploy to make the military bow before his massive ego... are beyond disgusting."

I'd have a very hard time voting for Hillary, but I'd also have a hard time voting for McCain. I'd probably end up voting for McCain, but I wouldn't volunteer for his campaign or give his campaign money.

Van Helsing said...

"How." Michael Jackson announces that, like Ward Churchill, he is one-sixteenth Cherokee and therefore not subject to the laws of the white man.

Van Helsing