Wednesday, March 30, 2005
Hat tip: SondraK (once again)
1. While his lawyers are distracted by ambulance sirens, a reporter manages to get an answer to the question, "How many naked, oiled fifth-graders are in the back of your limo?"
2. "Wir haben große Aufgaben! Uns! Große kulturelle Aufgaben gegenüberzustellen! Wirtschaftsprobleme müssen gelöst werden! Keine Leute können besseren Gebrauch vom Frieden als wir bilden!
3. Michael Jackson is Jackie O asRichard Nixon in The Henry Kissinger Story.
4. "For my next illusion, I'll need two prosthetic arms. Can I get two prosthetic arms from the audience? Thank you..."
5. "... please, Tito, someone... some tissues? If I sneeze, there's a good chance my face will explode."
6. Claiming he was "more persecuted than Hitler" may have been Boyfinger's worst PR move ever, but it's really tough to choose just one.
7. "You're right, Handjob. I can see the Cub Scout Jamboree much better from up here."
8. "Hey, look at those people with the chicken hats on their heads. God, what a bunch of freaks."
9. "Yo! Hotdog man! I need two over here! And I like 'em small... really, really small."
10. Michael Jackson sees Cynthia McKinney and immediately shoots her the top secret crazy-as-a-shithouse-rat salute.